So I might have mentioned once, a while ago, that I have a little social awkwardness sometimes. I'm not great at the small talk thing. And I have concerns about awkward silences. So sometimes a conversation with me will go like this:
Me: Hi, I'm Em!
New person: Hi Em, Irene.
Me: Nice to meet you, Irene. (using their name in a sentence is meant to help you remember it) So, what do you do with yourself? (Nice open ended question. Could be relating to work, or hobbies, or life in general. So far so good. Except that I've just forgotten their name.)
Irene: Oh, you know, this and that. I work in <insert dull profession>. And yourself?
Me: I'm studying to be a teacher.
(Brief conversation about what I want to teach ensues, basically ending with me saying: I don't know yet, ask me at the end of the year.)
Silence follows.
S'more silence.
At which point I'm thinking: Oh no!!! A moment of silence!!! Jeez... this is awkward. Despite the silence going only for a moment, I'm already thinking it's awkward. But it's been a bit longer now. Maybe it actually IS awkward... Oh, I bet it is. Maybe if I flash a hopeful smile, they'll think of something else to say. Ok, now I just look weird. God, think of something to say.
Something to say.
Anything.
Just say something good.
Not relating to the weather.
If you talk about the weather they'll know you're feeling awkward and all you could think about was the weather.
Weather.
Weather.
How about the weather.
NO! Don't...
Oh, but the silence has been going on for so long now....
Just... think of something other than the weather...
Me: So... crazy weather we're having lately, hey? (Inner self looks out at perfectly blue skies, and shrivels up and dies a little).
Irene: Oh, it totally is, hey?
I think I just need to stop overthinking these things! Or follow this survival guide. Because it is awesome.
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