Saturday, December 25, 2010

so this is christmas...

merry christmas!

Nic and I started the day with our new breakfast tradition and had tasty healthy pancakes made with wholemeal flour, oats, yoghurt, milk, eggs and a little butter, plus fresh blueberries and maple syrup we bought in Vermont. Yum.

We opened our presents from the stockings then went to Grandma's (Mum's side) for our traditional christmas lunch, only without the normal seafood assortment.

The other day we had gotten a quote from the Subaru people about my car, which was crashed on our engagement weekend thanks to a roo on the road. The quote was for about 4k, which surprised my Mum (the car and insurance is in her name, and she's told me not to use the insurance... only she didn't realise how bad the damage was). I took her out to see the car, after I had told somebody else the story. She proceeded to tell me that the damage was a lot worse than the 'minor accident' I had apparently said had happened. As I recall, I didn't want to freak her out, and had said that we'd swerved off the road and into a ditch, and that we'd had saplings coming out of the wheel arch. Doesn't sound minor to me. She and my brother look the damage over with her going on and on about how terrible it is. Like I should feel bad for crashing my car (which I do, but more in a way as though I'd done it on purpose or something?). Or that it's Nic and my good-for-nothing outdoor spirit of adventure and actually wanting to leave the house that's done the damage, and that'll sure show us for getting off our asses and seeing the world... So that was wonderful. I don't know what her beef is, honestly. When we were crashing off the road I wasn't thinking: Oh God, we're about to die... I was thinking: Mum is going to kill me for crashing the car. Is that not ridiculous? I'm serious, that's all I could think. Some lady came along to help us out and said: "It's ok, these things happen, your Mum will just be happy that you're safe." And you know, I don't think she was. When I told her, I don't think she asked if we'd been to hospital, or if we were injured. I'm just getting over it, really.

And that nothing Nic and I do or get is good enough. She loves ice-wine... so when we were in NH we went to one of the bargain barns and bought her a 'cheap' (read $25) bottle of ice wine. She opens it today and looks at it and says: "Oh... so it's kind of like ice-wine?"
And the picture I'm using as the header for my blog? I blew it up and put it in a frame and she looks at it and makes a face (I've shown her this picture before by the way but she was so completely disinterested in the photos from the trip that she obviously didn't remember. Plus she's seen them again on FB) and says: "Is... this a photo? Or is it like the one that comes with the frame?" And I'm like... yeah, cos I completely just got you a $10 frame you idiot, with no photo. And by the way that's ME on the rock. And I didn't give her the same one as my Grandparents because theirs has Nic in it, and she doesn't like Nic. Neither does Grandma, I don't think, but that can deal with it because he's my fiance damnit and I kind of like him. So... a heap of appreciation for those gifts, not. And I tried to think of things she'd actually like but apparently it's STILL not good enough.

Meanwhile, my two female cousins are both engaged, so they said congrats. One has been engaged for 2 years and when I asked if she knew when she was getting married, she says that since the wedding for March had been postponed (big broohaha in the family about it) they didn't know when and didn't care, and were quite happy being engaged. The other is getting married in October and has her dress, venue, food, video, etc etc already organised... I spoke with the first cousin later and said she could elope, where she gave me a sly grin and said that wouldn't be possible, at least until her sister was married- the family would be horrified (we sound like the mafia, hey?)... we talked a while about that stuff, but I didn't bring up that they don't like Nic. I don't think they like her FH either... I thought it'd be nice if we both knew we were in the same situation.

I guess Christmas is hard... this whole thing with Mum though, that she just refuses to acknowledge or see that Nic is actually a good guy... she just needs to get the fuck over it. Get over being so up herself, so depressed, so lonely and DO something about it. Her brother is older than her but looks much younger, has smile lines, laughs and is happy- he gets out, exercises, has interests... she just... stays home, watches TV and looks after her parents- attending to their every beck and call.

Sorry this is such a rant I'm just so frustrated. It's her that's making me not look forward to my wedding. Knowing she disapproves, as does Grandma. And that's even funnier cos I'm sure Grandma didn't mind Nic. One day we went over to Mum's and had dinner and Mum was going on and on and on about her parents. My Grandpa has Parkinson's and can't do a lot for himself, so Grandma is constantly looking after him, while she needs to go to the doctor and hairdresser etc... So she's stressed out to the max, Mum is running around after both of them, driving them here and there, giving up her time to do this, which is OK except that she resents it, or feels obligated to do it for whatever reason... So Nic suggested Grandpa should go into a nursing home. Context: His grandparents went into seperate nursing homes and were the happiest they had been in YEARS. His Grandma is in a nice place where she has her own space, little kitchenette, etc, doctors to come whenever she wants, she has friends and hobbies and interests there... But I had forgotten to tell him that my family, for whatever reason, is Anti-Nursing home. To the max. So Mum basically flipped out when he said this, despite only going from his own experiences and of course meaning absolutely no malice or ill-intent (I don't even know why it would be taken as such but anyway), and she doesn't yell or anything just hates on him more... then of course tells Grandma, who apparently got "terribly distressed" and "hoped that (Em) didn't think that way" which, you know, whatever. People need to live their happiest lives, that if that's going to happen away from home, so be it. If they're not going to hire an in-home nurse because their too set in their ways, and they're just going to be stressed and miserable and make my Mum stressed and miserable, then surely there has to be another option.... Anyway, since Mum said this, my Grandma has been anti-Nic. Which is just wonderful.

Anyway there was no real drama, but we excused ourselves at about 2.30 to "visit Nic's family" and came home to our Baby family, watched some Gray's, and now Nic is having a nap.

Sorry about the rant, it's just ridiculously frustrating, all of it. Well, if we move to Canada, we won't have to worry about that crap anyway.

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