A girl who is completely infatuated with a man she's known for 6 months, where she's decided the date they'll be getting engaged, that they'll be having a 100k wedding (yes, $100,000), she's picked out the ring she wants, etc... It's all very fast, and she's not yet 21. Eek. Anyway, this isn't the point, because that's fine- you have the right to do what you want, and what makes you happy, and good on you... which is the point.
She was looking at, I assume, wedding blogs today. Or pictures of weddings. Or something. And I hear from across the room:
"Oh, they're a really gorgeous couple. Don't you think? Look, he's so handsome... and she's pretty too. Don't they make a really pretty couple...?" Silence for a minute then a shrill shriek; "Oh, she's SO ugly!!! And she's not wearing makeup!! Why wouldn't you wear makeup to your wedding!? Don't you think she's ugly?!!?" (this to another coworker, who responds: "Um... I think she looks fine...") "Well, I don't understand why you wouldn't wear makeup to your wedding. Yuck." And I'm thinking: I don't see the problem with it...
Then there's silence for a while longer.... and I hear another shriek.
"OH MY GOD.... he's wearing SNEAKERS to his WEDDING. What an IDIOT!!! Why would you do that?? You can't do that!! You can't wear SNEAKERS.... to a WEDDING!!! That's just so stupid!!"
At which point, I had to chime in.
I said: "He can wear whatever he wants to his wedding. It's his wedding. That's the point. If he wants to wear sneakers he can wear sneakers if it makes him happy. You don't HAVE to do anything at a wedding. There's no rules, you have to do what YOU want or it's not your wedding. Nic wants to wear converse to our wedding, and that's awesome."
"I take it from the silence that you're unimpressed."
She says; "... SERIOUSLY... You're going to let him wear converse?!?!?!"
"Sure. If he wants to, why the hell not?"
And it just made me cringe. The blatant judgements, the shunning of these women on their beautiful wedding day for something she doesn't deem appropriate. No wonder the Wedding Industrial Complex is what it is, and there's such criticism of women by women. We're always judging. It's impossible to turn off, I think, but jeez it peeved me off. Just because your wedding will cost $100k doesn't mean ours has to. Just because you want heels doesn't mean I do. And you know what? My wedding, my MARRIAGE isn't going to be any less kick-assingly-awesome because of it!! In fact, I'll probably have a more awesome time because of it. Feet not killing me from wearing heels? Check. Budgets in-tack after wedding? Check. Happy FH who got to wear wicked shoes? Check. I think I'll take that, and you can keep your criticisms to yourself, if that's quite alright.
(And by the way, I have nothing against people wearing heels, or not wearing chucks, or whatever... but I hate the idea that things are going to be worse because of, or despite those things..It's so insignificant, surely.)
(Also whenever I write WIC I think "Walk in closet")
Putting some awesome pictures below the cut just to prove my point.
|I mean, hello, this BRIDE is wearing purple converse. Awesome.|
|Yes! Converse AND a vest, AND a splash of colour! Love it.|