How did that happen?
This is a big year. The world is meant to end, right? I think subconsciously Nic and I have taken that onboard and are cramming so much stuff in, just to make it worthwhile.
The other day I designed our wedding invitations, more or less. Yes, there's still 7 or so months (um..) before we need to actually have them, and Lord knows I'm changeable (like it one day, hate it a month later), but I like Photoshop, and I like making stuff, and I liked making them so much that for a minute there I had a glimmer of being able to do it more than just for fun. Maybe I'll put them below the cut, you can let me know what you think. Then I just have to figure out how we go about getting them printed up. We'd both love letterpress but I don't know how much $$$$$$ that would be.
I'm filled with a sense of trepidation about the wedding, in some ways. Not about getting married to Nic, although it's a very final and 'definite' thing to do... more that... you know, you always read wedding posts about people whose family came together and laughed and had a great time, and it was a real celebration and community thing, right? I don't even mean in the lead-up to the wedding, I'm assuming I'll get no help there except from Nic... more on the actual day, particularly for smaller, intimate weddings....I think I have a vision of my mother (or even other members of my family), gloomy, judging, making snide remarks about the food, the fact that we're having butter chicken as one of our mains and a vegetarian gnocchi as the other (quelle horreur! untraditional food!), or that there isn't enough wine selection, or that we served people canapes instead of a sit-down entree, etc etc. All these things, even though she continues to go on and on about her spit-roast backyard wedding...
I just want people to have fun, and I think I'm going to kill myself by stressing out about whether they will or not.
And then there's the feeling that Nic and I have sort of 'hermitised' ourselves. Which is to say, we have two really close friends, and not a whole lot beyond that until we get to 'people we're friends with at work', and 'people we talk to sometimes when we say 'let's catch up!' and it never happens'... and again, those stories of a community of people, of friends being there for one another, helping out, sharing the joy... I can't see it, and it makes me sad. And maybe when it's needed it will come... I don't know.
I've had two wedding panic 'oh crap we forgot something vitally important and it's the day of the wedding!' dreams already. Yesterday I made a timeline. I think I feel a bit better now.
Click below if you want to see the invite. If you could let me know what you think, if it needs any changes, etc, that would be fabulous. Of course it looks a bit less awesome without our surnames as it sits up nicely next to the ampersand, but so it goes. And the actual one has the password for the website, too, but it's not finished yet.
OH! I need to do a NZ post of some description. I'll knock that up a bit later.