One of the things most concerning me about this wedding rests at the back of my mind... and it stems from seeing so many wedding blog posts where people say: We just wanted to have all of our family and friends have a great time, or our family came together to help with everything, or it was great to have our family all there celebrating our love.
And the concern I have is this: Nic and I both come from divorced parents. My Dad said he never wanted to see my Mum again, and he hasn't. He also said, he never wants to go to another wedding. Ever. Now, his partner Sally is lovely, and will get him to go, but geez. Then, Mum's also a bit weird about him, and she doesn't like Nic. Nic once made the mistake of innocently suggesting my very sick Grandpa may be better off in some sort of expensive home, so Grandma could stop being so stressed, and Grandpa could get the care he needs. I had forgotten to mention to Nic at this point that my family is very anti-retirement home (despite being about to invest in, and develop, retirement homes. ironic!) , and as such, the news was reported back to Grandma that he's obviously a horrible person, so now she doesn't like him either. Joy. Then there's Dad's side of the family, most of whom don't speak to one another for various reasons. And I don't feel particularly close to my brother. Hurrah. Then on Nic's side of the family, because he grew up in Canada with his Mum & Dad, he's only met his Granparents, Aunts, and Uncles a few times. His cousins he's probably only met literally 4 times. And I know, you don't have to invite these people, but some cousins have invited us to their wedding, so that could turn out a little messy unless you have something REALLY small, which I don't want to do...
Then I feel like I don't have enough friends. Not friends who I'd care about enough to invite. Maybe like.. 7. How do people manage to get 100 people at a wedding?? So I'd be happy with like, 70... and I suppose with family it adds up... But even so.
And while the idea of eloping at this point in time sounds really attractive, I also want to have a day where I get to be pretty, and dress up, and throw an awesome party, and get pictures taken, and tell everybody how much I love Nic and maybe for my Mum to actually see it.
I think her problem at the moment is that she tends to suck the life out of me. No kidding. She mumbles on an on about her parents, and her life... the other day she asks me: "So what's new in your life?" And I told her, "Nothing too much, work, uni, just finished rounds at school..." and she doesn't even acknowledge the fact I'd said anything, just goes on about her dog... So I get a bit blah when we're together, and I have a feeling maybe she thinks I'm miserable. Maybe Nic's this domineering personality who is squashing my fragile spirit and overpowering me. You know, exactly like her and Dad. She constantly asks me if I'm happy, and I tell her I am, but I can't make it convincing because I'm too busy being depressed by her. So maybe she just wants me to be happy, but can't pay enough attention to me to actually hear about the cool stuff Nic & I do. She always asks about his job (which is a shit, fill-in job till he joins the police or something), and then nothing else.
Sorry, this has become a bit of a bitch-fest. It's just... I never thought I'd give my future husband one of those mother in laws... and I never thought I'd be a) worried about telling Mum I'm engaged, or b) want to tell Dad before Mum.