new zealand

A two week trip anti-clockwise around the South Island of New Zealand, returning home on the evening when Christchurch had been hit by another earthquake. Unusually for me, I'm going to try and tell the story of this trip without words. Click on the link below to see all.

we're becoming one of those couples...

This morning, Sunday morning, Nic and I woke up at 6am.
Crazy, right?
It's Sunday! Day of weekly-weigh-in, berry pancakes (previously enjoyed with real maple syrup from Vermont (not the suburb south of here), but now since we're too poor to afford such luxury, with Supermarket Brand Maple Flavored Syrup), double episodes of Grey's back-to-back, vacuuming, and occasionally going for a walk.
But not this week, no.
I had been saying for over a year that we should go in a fun run! as a way to increase motivation to train and go jogging and try and get to 5km (or whatever). Since Nic had arrived in Australia, and had actually not run off on me (like an ex of mine), I had been saying this. But it hadn't happened.
Then we joined the gym,
And here I was, running 5km on a treadmill in 35 minutes (with occasional breathing-and-hacking-up-a-lung breaks), or doing intervals and running between 8.5km/h and 11km/h (I think I mentioned this, I remember putting something into miles a little while ago. Yup, here it is), and, a month before said gym membership or newly-found-running-ability, Nic found a fun run that completed the morning with pancakes, and entered us in it.
Lordy.
So we wake up this morning to a perfect Melbourne autumn day (a couple days early), which is to say that it was bleak, drizzly and depressing.
Awesome.

feet up

I think I'm really preparing to get settled in to the house. That is to say that I just went to Target and ended up getting a couple of tank tops with boob-support so I can slouch around the house without a bra on, while I'm not at Uni (or work).
To all that have just arrived, hello, welcome, usually I don't give you much insight into my chest, but apparently today's the day. Anyway, I don't think I've ever been so excited about a piece of clothing that nobody except Nic will see, but there you have it.

So after a fair amount of badgering last night, I managed to get Nic to email me his priorities for the wedding. In fact, he spent about 20 minutes over on his laptop madly typing away, to the point where I didn't actually know what he was doing and had to double-check to see if he had understood the assignment.
Here they are, more or less, with a little editing from me. This is almost kind of like a guest post, but one that took much pestering for the guest to write.


1. Location
2. Not having it uptight, not getting focused on the details, and just letting it go. Be as it will.
3. (Maybe this should be part of two) Feeling like a 'real person', or that the day is about us, and not worrying about what everyone else is thinking or doing, or if they are happy or not. Maybe - acknowledging us for us?
4. Having some friends! And friends that aren't my friends or Em's friends, but friends that are ours.
5. I want for it to be colourful, happy, and to be like a big friends/family get together type of thing, with some formal aspects, like the vows and actual 'marriage' i guess, but also just like friends, sitting around, dancing, eating, drinking, being merry. A campfire would be fricken awesome. And not HAVING to do stuff, but choosing to dance and be silly, and wear cool shoes that don't necessarily go with a suit, and wearing a hat... Cool stuff.

running away to the mountains.

After looking at some other potential venues last weekend, and having had lunch with my Mum again the other day, I was beginning to solidify the fact that I didn't want to do this traditional wedding thing.
And I don't mean that I didn't want a traditional wedding... Because we all knew it was going to be offbeat, anyway... but that I was beginning to want, less and less, to deal with the hassle of the big hooplah that is the wedding. Of worrying about catering for people having to drive 'too far' from the city (as my mum said, again, when I suggested a place that's about an hour and a half out of Melbourne, and I had to remind her that half of Nic's family (beside the immediate family all being overseas) are at least a 6 hour drive from Melbourne itself.)... of worrying about costs, of etiquette, of my mother being uninvolved... literally and emotionally.

So Nic and I were laying in bed last night, both of us tired and about to fall asleep, which seems to be when we have our best discussions sometimes. I said:
"I think I'm about ready to throw in the towel on this wedding thing. I mean, not the wedding (I meant 'marriage' here), but the wedding."
Nic looked at me from across the pillow, confusion smudged across his tired little face. After all, I'd just said I wanted to throw in the towel on the wedding thing, not the wedding, but the wedding.
Which he kindly repeated to me, to make sure I knew how ridiculous I sounded.
"Not the marriage, but like, the whole ordeal that is the wedding."
You know things aren't good when you're using the word ordeal to describe something that's meant to be fun. Ok, so the planning probably isn't 'meant to be' fun, but the wedding itself should be. Nic looks at me as though I've lost my marbles (this happens often).
"I've said this ages ago! Just the two of us should go somewhere and do it, and then we'll have the party later, some time! You said we couldn't though, cos your family would tear us a new one!"  He's so eloquent, my fiance.
"Well, they probably would," I reply.
"Weddings are so trite and traditional. I don't want people to sit there and go Wtf are Yay flags, and why are they doing that? And being bored or confused. I want to get married and then have a party later!"
We discuss this for a little while- I don't necessarily want it to be just us, but with a select few people, sure! Somewhere awesome, in mountains. Nic feels it should be somewhere (in mountains) that's special to us, not just randomly in the Swiss alps. Nic tells me he's desperate to wear the ring, to do this, that he can't wait. I tease him, in a sing-song, mocking kind of way: "You wanna be my huuuusband".
"Nah," He replies, eyes closing tiredly, "I just want to wear some bling."
I love him.

world tree...

Does anybody around here read Fantasy stories?

I think I might have just accidentally started writing a new story. I haven't admitted to this part of my history on here yet, but I used to write a lot of fantasy. I even wrote a fairly functional language. I'm quietly proud of that, and want to include it in everything I ever write from now on, but can't.

What I'm wondering is, if I'm busy writing a story instead of doing Uni assignments (when it gets to that point), and I post it up here, bit by bit, would people enjoy reading it? Not that you can really make a fair assessment - you've never read my writing writing, only the rambly stuff I post up here when I feel like making a point about something-or-other. And also, if you were to read, would you also prod me, were I to get writer's block for non-legitimate reasons (ie: I have a Uni assignment and can't write, doesn't constitute a time where you can prod me.)?

I'm peering at the notes I've scribbled up in Word in the last half hour- new worlds, new religion, new people, races, characters all developing, and wondering if I can pull this off. I might have to tentatively suggest it to Nic tonight. One thing he does exceptionally well is shoot down my ideas.
That sounds terrible. More like if I say:
"So I'm super excited about democratic education hon, it's gonna be GREAT! Kids are gonna just hang out and we're all gonna listen to each other and like, paint flowers on the walls and they can have a say in their classroom and they'll be engaged and happy and awesome. So there."
And he'll say:
"But how?"
And I'll say:
"Well... I don't know. It just will be. Ok. So shut up."
And he'll say:
"But what about this thing? Or that? Or what if a kid throws a chair at your head? Or what if kids don't want to make decisions? What if they just want to be told what to do? And you can't just have them hanging out.. they have to actually do work. And what about homework? And what about when they leave your classroom and suddenly can't make any decisions? THEN WHAT?!?"
And I say:
"...Homework doesn't do anything, and well... they'll be better thinkers when they go to another classroom, and y'know.. it'll just be awesome. Shut up."
My point is, is that he thinks of things that I don't, cos I get caught up in the shiny, and forget about the hard parts. Then he grills me on the hard parts.
Example 2:
"Hey, hon! We should totally do our ceremony in the middle of the bush! It'll be awesome. We can make chairs out of haybales and be married under a tree! And it'll be pretty. And natural. And awesome. So awesome."
"So how is the celebrant going to get power for his/her mic? Or are they going to bring in a generator? Do we need to get a generator??? Or do they have their own power or something?"
We actually had a fight over this. I was more grumpy because we haven't even picked a venue yet, let alone figuring out small logistics like this.
So, point is, he sees the hard parts, and makes me think about them, which is important, because then I can fix my ideas, and adjust them so they're a little more realistic. So I might ask him about my story later.

Which reminds me about something else I'd been thinking of, which is my fear that I don't actually like kids, and don't actually want to teach. I see hooligan youths on BMX bikes without helmets on and just want to run away. I'm scared of kids. I'm meant to be teaching people I'm scared of??? I don't know how to talk to young kids! I'm like Mallei. He wasn't socialized with children as a young pup (my fault), and now he just wants to run away from them. Especially small ones. They're scary and smell weird and make strange noises. I think he's got the right idea, to be honest. So what if I'm just... no good? Some people are great with kids. All the time. I'm awkward. Ugh.
But I'll write more about that. I'm visiting an alternative primary school tomorrow to see about volunteering, and I'm excited about that, so maybe it's unnecessary fear. Back to my story ideas now.

two foods that go with everything...

Today I saw my picture of Mallei in glasses and decided what would really make me happy on this beautiful autumn (!!) day, would be to write a Dr. Mallei advice column. So I looked around, and making the most of the resources available to me, I whined:
"Niiiiic...."
He always knows this is a bad start, because it means I want something from him that he probably won't want to do.
"Yes, hun...?" 
"Can you like... write me a question to Dr. Mallei and then I, I mean he, can write an answer to it and I'll copy and paste it and put it on my blog?"
He sighs.
"What should I write about?"
I try and think about what things Mallei knows about, or what he could possibly be so qualified for that he could be considered a doctor. One of these I think has just come from his experience as a person observer, as he diligently studies the shifting dynamics of human relations, and how this can affect, either positively or negatively, the overall well-being of the person... and the other is food.
Because he just fricken loves to eat.
So here is the first, anonymous letter received for the ever enlightening Dr. Mallei's Advice Column, pertaining to Food and Relationships*. But mostly food.

Dear Doctor Mallei,

I recently have a dilemma. It would be nice to be a vegetarian, but using chicken and bacon in meals is so easy. Its also tasty. But Is this caving in to the ease of 'modern life', or being dishonest to some vaguely growing morals and ethics?

You are wise on these matters. Please advise.


Sincerely yours,




---

Dear Anon,

I'm struggling to grasp the point you're making- chicken and bacon are tasty. As a dog, I find vegetarianism a strange concept, but I'll give it a whirl. Firstly, however, I'd like to pose a question to you. Nay, a challenge, if you will. Can you think of any foods that don't go with either chocolate, or bacon? 
I think you'll find that there isn't a single food with which you can't pair either bacon or chocolate. Which leads me to believe that it is close to impossible to eliminate bacon, at least, from one's diet. Another critical point in the argument here, is the fact that humans are commonly argued to be omnivores. Now, I see no sense in this, since meat serves the job just as well, but each species to his own, I suppose.
In regard to the issue surrounding ethics, this is a tricky one. I would like to say it depends on how you source your meat, but I suppose in one way, whether you buy the chicken or not, somebody will still breed them, kill them and eat them. The question really is whether your 400g of chicken breast a week is making a difference, in the grand scheme of things. I suppose you could argue that if you don't buy the chicken, the chicken won't be killed, or you won't be adding to the killing of the chicken, but then the chicken is still going to be killed, you just don't get to enjoy its tasty meat.

I think you need to listen to yourself, inside your heart. If your heart is having palpitations because you eat a kilogram of bacon for breakfast every morning, have a KFC original bucket for lunch, and finish off your day with a nice hearty serving of wicked wings, then yes, you are a bad person and should stop eating so much bacon and chicken.
If, however, you gorge your bacon fetish in moderation and enjoy it as an source of protein and deliciousness, then I believe you should be able to continue doing so without letting those pesky ethics get in the way.

That being said, I eat an entire chicken's body every day, so I may not have been the best person dog doctor to ask.

Loyally,

Dr. Mallei.

If you don't eat meat, you'll basically be doing this every day.  Though, to be honest, I look pretty chuffed. Maybe it's a meat-flavored stick.

*Feel free to send in your own! Just leave a comment.

following the bandwagon- a post about valentine's day.

I feel like some sort of blogging machine (kind of). I have a post half-way finished about weddings being a competition (I may have said what I feel about this already but this is another example), and I'm sure there'll be plenty of pictures coming from Nic and my early foray into blackberry picking tomorrow (hopefully there will be some!), and then Nic's-Epic-Valentine's-Day-Plans for Sunday.
Which is sort of what I want to talk write about today.

Because all my blogs are flooded with V-Day stuff. Printable cards, cards to buy, cakes to bake, etc. There are a hundred flower ads on the radio at the moment. It's pretty hard to ignore. But usually that's a US/North America/Rest of the world thing. I refer you to Halloween. Long hailed as an "American tradition" that was "Too American" for Australians, we never did it.
Sure, you'd occasionally see kids in the 'burbs dressed up... maybe 5 kids... but that was it. You didn't bother to buy lollies/candy because nobody would ever come knocking. I don't know when it happened, but at some point in the last few years, something changed.

Just before Nic & I left for North America in October last year, there were halloween buckets in the supermarket, special 'scary' candy, witches hats and noses for sale... thing you would have had to go to a party store to buy before... now in the major supermarket chain.
Don't get me wrong, I fricken love Halloween. You should have seen me in Courtenay, BC, the day before, when all the kids in town dressed up and got candy from the shopkeepers (doesn't that term sound antiquated?! Top of the morning to you, shop-keep! Have you any .... um... iron... monger...?! Ok so clearly I don't know what sorts of things you'd buy back in the day, but you get the point).

You too could buy this heart-shaped potato and give it to your loved-one. Now available on ebay, highest bid + $18 shipping (seriously). {via}

But it's this whole commercialization of the event that is suddenly coming to the fore... the idea that you have to get a gift, or have to show your person how much you love them and if you don't get material things you don't really love them (similar to a lot of engagement ring debates, hey?). And look, I'm not against getting presents, and I'm certainly not against going out and doing things together as a couple (though it shouldn't take a 'day' to be inspired to do this)... it's just... I'm not sure of the point I'm making.
Possibly:
-Commercialism = bad.
-Using holidays as a reason to do things = ok, but shouldn't be the only reason.
-Being guited/shamed into doing things because it's a holiday = bad.

Valentines day here is becoming more like Halloween: something you knew about but didn't really pay all that much attention to, because it's not so big a deal. I still don't think it's as big a deal as it is in the US. I feel like I'm sort of getting a 'skewed view' on things because I read all these blogs and websites written in the US and people are going crazy about V-day and maybe I sort of generalize that over to life here where actually, nobody cares.

But! I am looking forward to seeing what Nic has planned because I'm super sneaky and usually if he thinks of something to surprise me with I take all the little tiny things he says about the thing and I figure it out and shatter all his hopes and dreams and send him into a funk. But this time, he has eluded me! I don't know what's going on, which is killing me, but it's ok, surprises are fun, I don't need to be in control, I can let someone else plan thing, I don't need to know what's going on, what to wear, when to leave, what to pack, it's all going to be ok (the control freak in me is quietly hyperventilating in the corner).... He's super excited, and although I find it difficult to get as excited since I don't know what's going on (downfall to surprises!) it's still awesome and I'm looking forward to it, and he's bursting to tell me but can't because then I'll know.

He's asked me about 3 times now if I'm planning anything (I can't, hon, because I don't know what your plans are and so can't plan around your plans! <- Also a sneaky way to get out of having to think of anything to do), so I wonder if I should be, or should be getting him something. Maybe I should write a card. Maybe my genuine surprise at not knowing what we're doing or where we're going will be enough of a present.

if it's 30 degrees out...

...why not have the oven on for a few hours?

Today my mother came around for lunch. Which was nice, I suppose. We went for a walk up to the little park near by so, as Nic puts it, we could have some 'mother-daughter bonding time'. Really it was just an opportunity for me to suss out some important things such as - car insurance. Who is it with, and why can't I get my car fixed with it. Evidently she knew as much as I did.
Which is nothing.
Also, about whether the family business will pay for my health insurance when I turn 25 and can no longer be on her policy. No, they won't. So, until next year, no health cover for me, probably.
Also about wedding budgets and plans, which she seemed generally disinterested in, and still seemed to be of the opinion that having a wedding in one's backyard (we don't have a backyard) with a catered spit-roast was just as an acceptable way to go as any. Which it probably is. For some. But not for me. So we sussed out budgets a little bit, to which she likened the 5k she hesitantly said she would contribute to 'paying for a whole year of Uni' for me. Is that meant to be a guilt trip? I'm trying to do this wedding as cheap as I can. Put it this way, we're working with a 10k budget, total. My cousin is getting married this October and her dress is going to cost between 10-15k. Um. Yeah. So how about we don't complain. Also I found out she threw away her dress. Which is probably ok, cos it's a probably a little too vintage, stained, and informal for me (even with our super informal wedding, I'd still like a -nice- dress.)... but still, I would have liked to have seen it to have the chance. Then again, I guess if your marriage ended and you were unhappy with the marriage, then you don't keep the dress forever and ever. Maybe. That might be sometime to discuss later: The weigh-up between getting a second-hand dress vs. new, and also: what to do with the dress when I'm done with the dress. Being as I don't plan on having kids, I don't imagine a daughter I'll be able to give it to... but we'll see. (At 10k, I can imagine you'd not just get rid of it... but at $700, I'd be more inclined to donate/sell/whatever it).

Anyway! We had lunch, then played a game of bananagrams with her, which was fun. Then the left.
And we started baking.
We baked a new nut-bar based on last-weeks tasty-delicious-omg-can't-believe-we-ate-boxed-museli-bars-from-the-supermarket concoction. We also baked an apple crumble, and Nic is about to begin some granola.
Under the cut are some approximate recipes. We tend to abide by the If It Looks Like Enough And Tastes Or Smells Good, It's Probably Enough measuring system. Ie: Throw in stuff. Taste. Throw in more stuff. Or not. But, I'll try my best. Also, there are pictures!!

 

Top of the apple crumble once baked.

the start of a weekend...

I went outside this morning at about 7am, and the billions of ants that usually infest our drive weren't there. I figure they were sleeping in. Luckily for me, Reya has an inbuilt alarm clock that doesn't factor in weekend-time (really, I just want to sleep till 8. It's not that much to ask), but dictates that she (and so, by proxy, we) wake up at 6.00am every morning. If her attempts to actually get us to be exciting don't work then, she'll try again at 6.30. Subsequently, we were lucid by 6.40 this morning, which, ironically, is earlier than we've been awake all week, despite going to work, interviews, etc etc.

But as per my second-to-last blog post, I thought I'd share a bit more about the world here.

So, this is apparently how we spend a (not every) Saturday morning. Nic throws a teatowel over Mallei's shoulders and calls him a "Bar-tender-dog". Mallei mopes around looking depressed. He drops off his tea-towel in the laundry and comes back, looking a little more chipper.
Nic is aghast.
"What?!? Where's your bar-tending scarf?! Now you're just a regular dog!!!"
Mal and I go on a mission to find the scarf. It's been discarded. As I put it on, I realize this has much more potential than I originally considered. I tie it under his chin, and cover his ears. He instantly looks despondent, and together we trek back to the kitchen. Nic looks down from where he's making pancakes.
"Is he a maid!?!?!?!?"
"No! He's an old Polish lady!!"
"Oh! And he has to go toil in the fields, with a horse, and one of those stupid things that doesn't work!"
I look puzzled. "One of those stupid things that doesn't work?"
"Yeah, you know. And he gets beaten." Nic starts pretending to hit Mal with the spatula. Mal hangs his head.
"He looks pretty unhappy with his lot."
"Well, you'd be unhappy too if you had to toil in the fields."
And this is not an abnormal scenario for us. Which is slightly concerning.

 

This is how Reya helps me on the computer. She is going to be so much awesome fun when I'm back at Uni and have to type 6,000 word assignments again. 

And there is my garden. I'm calling it my garden because I planted everything in there. At the top is a tomato. We have many, many tomatoes currently growing. So many tomatoes I think we may need to throw some kind of ridiculous tomato party where we feed our guests nothing but tomato sauce, salsa and tomato salad.
Next to that is looking up the garden. You can't see my very sickly capsicum plants, but they are there. Also there are 'mixed salads' but I think a few varieties died, so now it is monotone salads. There are also zuccinis with not enough space, salad I tried to plant from seeds (nothing in this garden grows if planted as a seed. Seriously.) Then there are spinach, leeks which we've grown from seeds inside, then planted outside, and which seem to be taking a ridiculous amount of time to grow...Then there are spring onions, and covering all that is a rhubarb (Nic didn't tell me it was going to turn out like some tropical monstrosity with huge leaves so now it's poorly positioned. it was very small when I first planted it there, having come from a very small pot considering how big its grown). Then there are the tomato-plants-that-are-taller-than me.... Oh, and on the side is another zuccini in a pot (the pot where the rhubarb used to be), and you can't see it but there's also a 'perennial lettuce', and my beloved raspberry.
And the last photo is the herb section of the garden. With the ridiculous mint of doom, the still-new rosemary plant, the thyme, the too-much-oregano and the chives. Plus there are strawberries. OH! And Basil, which is near the tomatoes. Maybe a tomato-and-basil salad at our tomato party?
And that's my little garden. And it's poorly planned out, but things seem to be doing ok, considering, and we've eaten about 6 raspberries now which is amazing and so delicious, and soon we shall have tomatoes. And one day I'll pull some stalks off my rhubarb but not until it's a little more 'developed'. And then I'll feel bad. For destroying it.

Off to see about joining the gym!! I did a Body Pump class last night and now most of me is in pain. Good pain. But still, pain.

i should watch what I say...

Re: My last post? When I said we should enter a race or something...

I meant some time in the future.

Apparently Nic is right now in the process of entering the both of us in a 5km fun run.
Should I restrict his access to the blog?
Maybe...

BUT

They do have a free pancake breakfast at the end.

My ex's Dad used to do this race. Hopefully we won't run into him there. Awkward!!!

Edit: Apparently Nic should continue to read my blog, but stop reading my mind. He insists that he hadn't read the last post, but just got it in his head to enter a race. I like him.

Edit 2: Here is a picture  of our kitten, because she's on my lap right now pressing the trackpad mouse with her paws every now and then and being quite upfront about her presence. So here she is, as of last week, sleeping on my chest. Reyasun:

chirp chirp chirp...

This morning I learnt something... Learned...? Whatever.

This morning I learned that I don't think Nic can hear cicadas. Which seems insane because in summer they make up 80% of the ambient noise, with birds hidden between.
Last night we'd gone for a walk, and I tried explaining the differences between cricket noise, and cicada noise. (Here's a cicada)(I can't find one of crickets because it just wants to give me the game, but not the bug. They sound like someone's blowing a whistle, sort of). Here we go!


So we're laying in bed this morning- no cricket noises, since it's day time, and I hear cicadas. Eager to prove that I do know what they are and that I will educate him, I gesture to the window. "Hear that!? That's a cicada!"
He listens.
Frowns.
Looks puzzled.
"That's a bird."
"No, the erk-erk-erk sound. I can't even hear the damned bird you're talking about."
Silence...
Cicadas chirp away merrily in the background.
"Nope, I can only hear a bird."
And then it dawns on me that maybe he can't hear the cicadas, cos they're at the wrong frequency or something, and I can't hear the birds because all the cicada noise drowns them out! And I realise that we are living in very different worlds sometimes. Though, his may be decidedly more pleasant since he gets birds. I get ugly noisy bugs.

imaginary conversations.

Nic is in the kitchen with Reya on his shoulder, making coffee.
He says: "No, you can't go down, benchtops aren't for kittens..." (my rule)
In a higher, squeaky voice: "But they might be!"
He says: "No. They're not."

It was just gloriously adorable.

[Edit again: Nic, opening the fridge and talking to the dog: "There's food coming out of everywhere Mal! It's packed to the gills!!"
Nic, in low grumbly, grumpy 'Mallei' voice: "You're packed to the gills, Nic."]

[Edit again with the addition of below movie: I love our kids...]