running away to the mountains.

After looking at some other potential venues last weekend, and having had lunch with my Mum again the other day, I was beginning to solidify the fact that I didn't want to do this traditional wedding thing.
And I don't mean that I didn't want a traditional wedding... Because we all knew it was going to be offbeat, anyway... but that I was beginning to want, less and less, to deal with the hassle of the big hooplah that is the wedding. Of worrying about catering for people having to drive 'too far' from the city (as my mum said, again, when I suggested a place that's about an hour and a half out of Melbourne, and I had to remind her that half of Nic's family (beside the immediate family all being overseas) are at least a 6 hour drive from Melbourne itself.)... of worrying about costs, of etiquette, of my mother being uninvolved... literally and emotionally.

So Nic and I were laying in bed last night, both of us tired and about to fall asleep, which seems to be when we have our best discussions sometimes. I said:
"I think I'm about ready to throw in the towel on this wedding thing. I mean, not the wedding (I meant 'marriage' here), but the wedding."
Nic looked at me from across the pillow, confusion smudged across his tired little face. After all, I'd just said I wanted to throw in the towel on the wedding thing, not the wedding, but the wedding.
Which he kindly repeated to me, to make sure I knew how ridiculous I sounded.
"Not the marriage, but like, the whole ordeal that is the wedding."
You know things aren't good when you're using the word ordeal to describe something that's meant to be fun. Ok, so the planning probably isn't 'meant to be' fun, but the wedding itself should be. Nic looks at me as though I've lost my marbles (this happens often).
"I've said this ages ago! Just the two of us should go somewhere and do it, and then we'll have the party later, some time! You said we couldn't though, cos your family would tear us a new one!"  He's so eloquent, my fiance.
"Well, they probably would," I reply.
"Weddings are so trite and traditional. I don't want people to sit there and go Wtf are Yay flags, and why are they doing that? And being bored or confused. I want to get married and then have a party later!"
We discuss this for a little while- I don't necessarily want it to be just us, but with a select few people, sure! Somewhere awesome, in mountains. Nic feels it should be somewhere (in mountains) that's special to us, not just randomly in the Swiss alps. Nic tells me he's desperate to wear the ring, to do this, that he can't wait. I tease him, in a sing-song, mocking kind of way: "You wanna be my huuuusband".
"Nah," He replies, eyes closing tiredly, "I just want to wear some bling."
I love him.

going back to my roots...?

I tend to go through phases of 'obsessions'. Poor Nic knows this, and has grown to accept it. Example: The last month spent looking, frenzied, at wedding dresses. Dress after dress after dress. And my problem is that I'll settle on something... I'll say:
Yes! This is what I like! I feel happy with this. Done! I'll stop looking.
And then something nags at me. Or I get curious. And I look a little more.
And a little more.
And a bit more...
Until I'm full-blown back into trawling galleries of dresses, peering at designers, lauding the benefits of this neckline or sleaves or trains vs. no trains, etc.
It seems to have waned a little for the moment, at least on the dress hunt. I'm sure it'll be back (though am still loving the Wai Ching Athena dress - see the ideas page)... just right now, it's settled.
For now, anyway.
.
But my new, most recent obsession, is the what-do-I-do-with-my-name-when-we-get-married dilemma.

some wedding details I love...

So I stumbled across this amazing wedding on GreenWeddingShoes, which I only go on so very occasionally.

There are so many details I love- these two photos for one thing..

{via}

Check it out. It's awesome.

And then as I went further and further into the post, it got more and more awesome.

a wedding in apricot...

I am aware that there's a lot of 'competition' amongst women. Recently, I have noticed it specifically regarding wedding stuff. The judgments passed among women about weddings they've seen or been to. How this was tacky, or that was cheap. How her dress didn't have enough beads, or how they should have had flowers in the church. To this end, I am very aware that when writing about the wedding Nic and I went to last night, that these are not judgments based on the 'worth' of the wedding, but based on my own personal tastes.

Because here's the thing; the bride and groom were glowingly happy. In their speeches they thanked everyone for making this such a special day. How everything was perfect and beautiful. And that's the important thing. And I am sick of people competing and judging and saying what should and shouldn't happen. And I know that, compared to the wedding we attended yesterday, ours is going to blow people's minds.

i have no interesting title...

Alright, a general sort of update-post, and musing about work, which I understand isn't the most exciting subject but so it goes.

So, I work for a health insurance company- one of the country's biggest. I'm at a call-center, outsourced by that company, and usually I act as a sort of soft-core debt collector. Since people don't go into debt with us, it's more a friendly reminder that their bill is outstanding, which is fine. Though, the reactions of people when I call can be somewhat hilarious if they think I AM a debt collector, and I have to gently let them know that I'm not. And they appologise and try to convince me that they're usually good at paying, and appologise some more... but that's ok. Hey, I wouldn't want a call from someone telling me I hadn't paid my bill...
But sometimes, I have to try and retain members who want to close their policy.
We used to be able to freeze their membership for 2 months, effectively giving them '2 months free' where they didn't have to pay. Awesome. Just lost your job? No problems. On a pension? Have some saving time. Going through a rough patch? This should help... But not any more.
So here's a scenario: Dear old Betty calls up. She's 83.


There she is. She looks peeved. I'd be peeved too. Remember how I said I needed more pictures on here?

 The main things she'll need would be dentures, heart surgery, and a hip replacement. Maybe a hearing aid, too. This makes for a very, very expensive cover. I'm talking $130 a month expensive, assuming she's had cover since 2000, which I'll assume she has, because most of them have, and have been paying a fortune for years. Now $130 isn't TOO bad... but it's pretty bad on a pension. So my job is figuring out what Betty needs... convincing her how her membership will provide her with these things, adjust her membership accordingly, and thank her very much for her time. But often, for Betty, the recently or long-term unemployed, the single-parent with 3 kids, or whatever... it's a case of eating... or paying for health insurance. And you know what, it's INSURANCE. It's a just-in-case. It's not something to sustain your family. Hell, if the single parent told me they wanted the money to take their kids to the movies and a game of mini-golf, I'd say go for it.
But I'm not supposed to.
And I can't do what they want me to do because it's not right to do that. I'm meant to put up a fight. To 'handle' their 'objections'.
"Oh, Betty, you won't be able to afford your groceries and medication this week? But at least, if you get sick in the future, you'll be able to go into the private hospital... If you have an accident? No, then you'll go through the public system. What's that? If you don't tell them you have insurance? Yes, your treatment WILL be free... no, there's no guarentee that by having insurance you won't pay anything. In fact, you're almost guarenteed to have something to pay. Yes, I know that it makes no sense that you're paying monthly for something just so you can pay again when you need to use it, but that's the system we're dealing with here."

Ugh.
And it's not so bad now, but we used to get paid based on how many of these people we could convince to stay. We still do, to a degree, but it's nothing as bad as it was.

So that's a rant. And I will take the moral highground and close Betty's membership, management be damned if they don't like the way I operate.


On a more positive, and possibly interesting note (more interesting than me rambling on about my morals? Unimaginable!), we had quite a good weekend. Saturday was too hot to do much, but Sunday was cool, a little drizzly, but good for a drive.
We hit up probably 8 or so 'potential' venues. We liked one town hall (that I thought would be scummy but had awesome windows and surrounded by a bit of bush), found one winery, and right across the road were some 'formal' gardens...
The winery, Acacia Ridge, in the Yarra Valley is run by a husband and wife team. On wednesday, they're erecting a permanent gazebo next to the 1850's miner's cottage they have on the property. It's almost like being in their backyard in a lot of ways, but in that, it feels very relaxed, casual, and cool. The outlook is spectacular. It was a cloudy day, and most of the mountains were obscured but the view was STILL awesome.
The owner told us he made money by selling wine, not through weddings. I get the feeling that enough people (including his kids) approached them about holding a wedding there that they caved, and do it 'on the side'. I like that they're not trying to gouge people their money. In fact, if we did our own catering, he'd charge $10p/p for the use of the grounds... which, with what I've heard is a 'good caterer', would mean we could be looking at $45p/p which is MUCH more reasonable than $100. It also just felt like a family thing. He was talking about how he could cater, but he'd be getting Dad, and Father-in-law to help with the steaks, or do this and that, and wanted to involve OUR families in the day... which was really nice. Plus there was a really nice open grassy space for umbrellas and blankets, and it just felt really nice. Plus, me, the picky wine drinker, LOVED their pink wine- sweet, delicious.. we bought a bottle, and a bottle of muscat...um, I forget.. but it's like strong wine. Anyway, very tasty stuff.
We also went to Alowyn gardens, which we saw by accident as we drove away from Acacia ridge. Nic managed to sweet-talk his way in for free (usually a $9 admission) by telling them about the wedding. There's a looooooong arch looking on to a fountain, with speakers in the arch... and it's a semi-formal garden with some little hedges, but also a grove of fruit trees, and lots of flowers... and it's not the ideal thing that I wanted (under a big tree!!!) but... it was still nice. $750 for the ceremony for 3 hours, so time for drinks in their courtyard area... apparently the archway thing is quite waterproof so is VERY outdoors/indoors in a cool way...
Plus, maybe, the flowers would still be out!

The archway from the little hedge thingie, Wisteria flowers out... preeeeety!

From inside the arch, in Autumn, looking to the fountain, where we would stand (I guess). Guests would sit in the archway area.

This is all very exciting! It means we have potential venues (!!!!), though I still want to look at the Mornington Peninsula, I'm not feeling so depressed now about the whole thing costing many many moneys. If we were to do it at these places I reckon we could keep it under 10k without too much trouble. Which would be really nice!

venue shopping, cost madness...

So my mother seems to be in good spirits based on her most recent FB messages.
Nic had suggested that we go, all three of us, in a car, for an extended period of time, while we visit some wineries and venues in the Yarra Valley, and try and suss out if she's contibuting anything, and if my grandparents are, and to give her the idea that we don't want a BBQ wedding in our backyard.

In a way, I'm still reeling over the expense of the venues- and they're not even that bad! I've seen places FROM $160 p/p. Imagine if you had 150 people. That's $24000, just on food/venue. THEN you probably have to add booze, dress, invites, suits etc etc etc etc... blah blah... I just... Nic found a figure online the other day, that the average cost of a wedding in Australia is $40k.

40...
thousand
dollars.


In the US, the story is a little different with most people apparently spending between $14,000 and $25,000... not including engagement ring and honeymoon. So... that's VAGUELY better... But it's just insane here.

Eg: wedding dresses. I've seen people on US websites picking up nice-looking dresses for $250, or $450 from David's Bridal. I think you'd be lucky to find a dress here for under $800. Really lucky. It makes me want to order a whole bunch of styles from some Chinese wholesalers, put them in a shop, order them from China for people, sell them for cheap (and make a profit along with it)... Surely there are brides in Aus... in Melbourne who want dresses on a budget. Who want to TRY those dresses on before they buy them. I'm all for buying online but I think wedding dress shopping is a) fun, and b) important to know what looks good, and c) a great way to bond with girlfriends and family in the lead up to the wedding. Maybe I just haven't looked in the right places, but I can't think of any stores that are anything like DB's in the US, where you can get 'standard' dresses in different styles for like, $450. I think we need that.

But that wasn't the point of this post. I've gone off topic. So in order to get friendly with my mother again, we're going venue shopping, and maybe she'll realise the actual cost of this thing. And we can talk with her about other important stuff, such as fixing my car, and my not being on her health insurance any more, and so on and so forth. Luckily the Yarra Valley isn't too far from home so if she becomes unbearable we can just go back and she can leave.

But! I have a very long list of wineries, and barns, and reception centers (tending to be more expensive) and camps! School camps. With bunks and fire pits and canoes and ropes courses. And I think, if we found a good one, that this could be such a kickass option. All our cool friends could stay the night, we could adventure all day, party all night, have a campfire, wake up late, go canoing, or walking, or exploring, or whatever. Just a matter of finding one that will let us- and a lot of them do corperate retreats so I wouldn't imagine it would be too different- and that we like, that's pretty, and has the appropriate 'scenery'. The look & feel of the place is so important to us...
But...! Lots of exploring to be done! Through Yarra Valley, Macedon, Daylesford and the Mornington Peninsula. Good times ahead.

venues & flying blind without a budget...

Yesterday we were going to go for a hike somewhere, but I'm a bit sick, so instead compiled a list of town-halls and other 'potential' hopefully not-too-over-the-top expensive places. I must say though, community halls are fairly uninspiring from the outside. I'm sure you could jazz them up, but really they're a bit blah.
We ended up visiting a restaurant, an archery range (blah) and a farm...

saving the date...

So!
Now that we have a date, I know the wedding is still not for many, many months, however! I figure now is the time to start really planning and thinking and getting STDs ready (that always sounds so wrong) and what not...
So I wanted to do something a little different then just a random card.. something 'us'... And I saw this..
<------------------------

And then like, putting a magnet on the back so people can put it on their fridge.

Pretty. cool. stuff.

Plus Nic likes it! and I like him. So, this is promising. Just have to figure out where to print them, and how much that will cost. ;)

Must getting 'wedsite' spiffed up so we can put the address on there too and also think about how we want it to look. Maybe something with a piece of pie, or one with a book, or OOOO.... involving Reya and/or Mal (ie: Mal holding sign in his mouth... TOTALLY plausible I tell you!!!)

reality sets in..

Despite the title of this post, I'm actually really enjoying the sense of 'realness' that having a date has brought. It's funny, the ring didn't do it, the announcement didn't do it, even trying on dresses didn't do it (maybe because I knew we were only there to see what styles I liked, and would never have bought one, particularly for $4k+)... but now, a girl at work has been asking me about this and that to do with the wedding and I'm airing my ideas. My left-of-centre, not traditional, totally us ideas that until this point had been only that: ideas... and now it's sort of like; hey, we can actually do these things. And they're not crazy, really. They're seeing each other before the ceremony, going to a walk together, having pies instead of a cake, they're not wearing heels and maybe having a dress with green on it, having bridespeople instead of restricting it to gender. They're Nic asking if we have to walk down an aisle, and couldn't we instead meet each other in the middle, coming in from the sides, and me saying: sure, why not!? I'm speaking them aloud and seeing reactions and realizing that we can actually do this...

Isn't it funny where the turning point happens? I read a lot of blogs and some of them say it's when they first tried on dresses... for me, it was simply choosing a Saturday, and deciding on that.

I know probably only Nic reads this, but if anyone else drops by, did you have a 'penny drop' moment that was unusual?

Since I haven't announced any of this on Facebook, of course my mother is nowhere to be seen, nor has she been the least bit excited or interested in it. Much like the rest of our lives. Hurrah. Enough of that! 2011 is nearly upon us!

and it all works out so perfectly...

Exciting news!!

I think we have a date!
It's the most 'set in concrete' date we've had, and it feels good. Really good. A bit frightening because it seems as though 'holy hell, this is actually happening'... but also really exciting. And real. Before it had all been a long way off in the future and  something we didn't need to worry about right now (and it's still just under 2 years off) BUT... there's a discernible length of time now. I can say, hey, it's 97 weeks, or 22 months (holy crap)... but now I don't feel so bad looking at wedding dresses (must loose weight) or wedding bands... or town halls, or talking about writing vows or about fairy lights, or considering having a vegetarian menu.
So here it is:
 

10/11/12.

And by the way that date blows my mind. First of all.. check it out. it's awesome. People will be going ga-ga over 12/12/12, but I think 10-11-12 is pretty awesome too... Nic took a little convincing on that BUT his argument was: why have it on a special day? And I say: Why not? Why have it on some random-ass day? Why NOT have it on a kickassly numerical date? Plus we won't forget it... PLUS it's 3 years to the day that he arrived in Aus to be with me, PLUS it's a Saturday, and it's in the timeframe we wanted anyway.
So.... that is awesome.
Tomorrow is NYE... I don't think we're doing anything. Lame? Maybe. But I feel worn out and like I'd rather stay home and hang with the family. Yup.

actually something related to a wedding!

Oo, a wedding-related update! Keeping in mind my tendency to trail into tangents at a moment's notice and end up writing about the kitten (who, by the way, is just fricken adorable)(and about whom I get mocked regularly because apparently I was a self-proclaimed cat-hater... I would argue I never went that far, more that I just prefer dogs... I'm more a dog person than a cat person, but hey, my kitten seems about as close to a dog as I could hope. Does she wrestle with Mallei, despite his 200% difference in weight? Why yes, yes she does. Does she kamakazee fearlessly into everything? Yup. Is she unflinching when we drop something noisy or sneeze? Sure is. And at the same time, is she cat enough? Lap sleeping- check (and neck, shoulder, chest, shins...), purring (LOUD)- check, leaping- check, riding around on our shoulders like a parrot? check. In all, she's awesome, moving on). Also, apologies for my extended use of parentheses (I know them as brackets, but parentheses sounds more fancy, despite the fact that I had to look up the term to make sure I wasn't going to look a fool).

Moving on to the actual point of this post (and hidden so Nic won't read it accidentially. Yes, that means stop now, love.)

maybe not April after all...

Nic and I have been talking a lot lately about where we're going to live.

I finish Uni in October next year (2011), and obviously hope to secure a job for 2012. We've moved away from the idea of going to Canada straight away, as trying to transfer my qualifications to BC will be difficult/impossible without having some teaching experience. Which leaves us here. We're dissatisfied with Victoria and have spoken about the ACT, and more recently about NSW. Some of the coast of NSW could be really interesting- a mix of small beachside towns or small cities, with mountains and bush not too far away. It depends on the type though, and on the towns. We've been thinking we may need an epic road-trip up the coast and through Canberra at some point in order to help us decide (we also need to go back to Townsville to see my Dad, and want to visit NZ and Tasmania at some point. There's a lot of travelling we need to do!) if and where we might like to spend the next year or two, or three, or whatever.

Which, of course, brings up an interesting and difficult proposition: If we move, say in December 2011, to another state... A wedding in the middle of being planned for April 2012 in Victoria may be problematic. Same thing if we wanted to have it in October or November 2012; if we're living out of Victoria, ok, it's doable, but I bet it's more stressful... that being said, if my Grandparents are around, having a wedding in Vic would be accessable to them... but only if it's within 30 mins of their house... so, that rules out anywhere we'd like to go. Now we're toying with the idea of 2013, particularly since Nic's family and friends are all overseas, and therefore would need to send invites at least a year in advance, so they can buy a ticket here... which means we don't have much time to decide where and when we want to do it, and we're just not in a position to do that yet.

That being said, whenever people ask me when the wedding is going to be and I say: "Not for at least 2 years", nobody seems surprised, or like that's an extrordinarily long time... Now if I say three years, that might be different! But it's ok.

Tell you what though, sometimes I'm seriously tempted by elopement.

what do we have so far?

Ok!

Two posts in a day, lucky.

I just want to inundate you with some of my favourite images that I've found so far, and then I should do some Uni assignments. This is where I'm at with my inspiration. Unfortunately I can't remember where I got all my photos from, so I'll just credit my favourite blogs: once wed, polkadot bride, a practical wedding, style me pretty.

Colours & Flowers

Pretty purples, and I'm torn between sort of the red/plum, and the aqua. I do love aqua though.

Dresses

So let me see if I can figure out where all these came from...

Top two on left: Lea Ann Belter, Kaitlin dress. I like the bodice, and I like the look of the movement of the skirt, though it would probably be a bit 'much' for me, and the train is huge- I don't want a train. But I like the interesting back, too.

Bottom left: Loving the cardigan over the dress, brilliant splash of colour. From Ruffled

Next left: Claire Pettibone, Chantily (I think). I like the silhouette, I think it would be great on my hourglass figure, though it's a bit too much lace. I also have a real love affair with cap sleeves. I do love lace, though, I think it's so romantic and feminine, but maybe in moderation.

Middle: I decided to look on Etsy, as I thought there might be some unusual/interesting/pretty stuff on there. I like the simplicity of this gown, though I don't know what material it's made from... This is the Sarah dress, from yourfairytalewedding. She does custom gowns too, which I'm super excited about... Apparently this dress can be made with pretty much any material, and corset back. I really like it, though it is very simple, and I don't know how flattering it would be on my figure. Hmm.. But it has pockets, too! Cool stuff.

2nd from right, top: Ahhhh... Claire Pettibone again, the Lalique dress, but with the bodice flower removed (how I would pefer it). I love this dress, though I could never afford it. Or wouldn't want to spend that much, anyway. I love nature things, so this fits right in. The silhouette looks gorgeous, too, and would probably be quite flattering, and it looks like it moves beautifully, too...

Top right: The Tyler dress, from Brides of Desire. There's a lot going on here, but it's surprising how much I like it. A bit of lace on the bodice, nice body-fitting silhouette, a flower there, and flowing material.. yup, that'll do it. Should be able to try this one on in Melbourne, hopefully.

Bottom right: the Tradewinds dress from Dress of Your Dreams, an online store based out of Sydney. The back is low, and lace-up, and there's lace cap sleeves, and a little bit of lace on the bodice. Pretty! Simple! Wish I could try it on. Wish I hadn't found it on a Chinese wholesaler website as well. Hmm...

So I think there's a bit of a theme here anyway; flowy, romantic, whimsical, a little bit of lace, but not too much, flower/nature motif if possible, keeping in mind my cleavage when it comes to bodice, accentuate the waist, not too overstated. Yeah. 

I think that will do for now. I'm going to make a list of my favourite blogs & sites now, then do some Uni work. If you stumble across this blog and know of any other designers (especially Australian) that I should check out, please let me know. :)

Welcome & Introductions!

Since I had to keep my 'about me' section rather brief, here's the somewhat expanded version, for anybody who cares!

I already have a blog about education, so I thought I'd make my life twice as blogworthy and make one for the rampant wedding planning I seem to be doing.
Here's the story: Nic and I met when I was 16, in Highschool. He had a crush on me for forever, but I didn't. He told me this at a going away party before he moved to Europe for 5 years, and 5 years later I decided to travel to that side of the world. Cue romantic 24 hour meet up in Paris, etc, etc, a month later and he had moved back to Australia to be with me. All together now: Aaaw. That's the abridged version, anyway. The full version is much more interesting and sweet, but you get the idea.

After being together for not-very-long, we came to the very rational decision that we liked each other, a lot, we made an amazing team, we completed each other, and what-the-hey, we should get married! So one day we went 'ring looking', though we hadn't officially decided anything yet. While we were doing this, we liked the experience so much that we decided to keep doing it until we found 'the one' (I know, I know, but really we did- I stopped looking when I found my ring). So at the moment I'm pre-engaged. The ring, although it wasn't expensive, was still much more than Nic could handle comfortably on his Telstra call-center wage, and I felt bad anyway because he would have to spend so much on something that only I got to wear? I didn't think it was fair. So, we went halves. And I feel better about that. It's like starting off this journey on equal footing, rather than him having outlaid all this money on me and I 'owe' him, so we have to get married. Or something. It felt archaic. I mean, the whole thing does, but I still wanted a ring (and never had before, how strange)
. So I know when he's going to ask- I don't know how or where, but that's ok. We're not traditional, so knowing in advance (10/10/10, here we come) is fine by me.

The wedding won't be until at least April 2012, but I've been looking around for a few months now, mostly at wedding blogs. I seem to go through various obsessions- this week is dresses. With our trip to North America looming, I thought I'd look and see what bridal stores were in NYC. It all sort of spiraled downhill from there to the point where I began designing my own dresses- sketching them, I mean.

But here's what I'm picturing so far:

Outdoor reception with a close friend of ours, or Nic's mum as the officiator, very casual, loving, no formal vowels, all written ourselves, a ring-warming ceremony, not being walked down the aisle by my Dad, a first look before the ceremony. As we leave, guests will wave 'yay' flags. At the reception, long tables, simple decorations, possible a purple and turquoise theme, with splashes of golden yellow and chocolate brown- sort of like peacock colours but not quite. A first dance. A non-traditional 'cake' - pies, or tarts or something. Hay-bales or couches for lounging on, possibly a bonfire or campfire at the end. Light, love, joy, colour. A wedding on a budget, somewhere surrounded by trees, hopefully with hills in the background. Non-matching bridesmaids, and the more I think about it: a dress I designed myself. Or otherwise something pretty, but understated- not a big ballgown or layers and layers of ruffles and frills. 

And that's where I'm at so far.

Be prepared to be bombarded with wedding pr0n, loving adulation for Nic (nowhere else to put them), stresses, woes and revelations.

Please comment, question and capitulate (now I'm just trying to look wordy) and stick around for a while. It's a long way until April...