too old for this...

On Friday night, some girls from Uni invited me to 'go dancing' with them at a club that plays 90s music. Nic was going to be away for the night so I thought I should actually be social and go.
So I did.
Oh Lord.
It's been a long time since I was in a place like this. Say maybe... five or six years. Well, look, not much as changed as far as I can tell, though it was... odd.
So, get this: girls dressed up in short dresses and huge heals. I saw one stick-thin girl cross the street in these massive heels and teeeeeeny tiny shorts, and I thought: why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we have to bear all, torture our feet, plaster our faces with chemicals, when the guy next to her was in jeans and a t-shirt?  I thought about this the other day when we were at the beach. It suddenly struck me: picture a middle-aged man, overweight, beer gut, at the beach. He'd be in shorts, right? Stomach hanging everywhere, hairy chest, arms, legs, back, pink as a lobster. And our reaction? Well, we wouldn't have one, would we? Because that's fine, and normal. Now! Picture a woman- middle-aged, overweight, in a bikini, pink as a lobster. For most of us, I'd imagine the reaction would be quite different. And if not for us, then probably for people on the beach. I know my mother would have a depreciating thing or two to say. That's not fair, right? What's up with the double standards?

Anyway. Back to the club. We're all dressed up and packed in to this dance floor. Most of the people there looked to be between 19 and 27, I guess, except for one older gentleman who went wild for 'Walking on Sunshine', arms flailing wildly in the air, expression of glee plastered on his face. The music being played at this club seemed to give otherwise sane and reasonable people an excuse to regress to highschool and sing 'Barbie Girl', 'Blue' (by Eiffel ...65?) and various SpiceGirls songs at the top of their lungs, hips jerking and occasionally trying to sexy-dance.
I'm sorry.
You cannot sexy dance to Wannabe.
And I think that was what confused me the most, was that a song came on, and I wanted to yell "LAME!!!" but that was the point, right? Don't get me wrong, it was fun (but too crowded. Dancing when someone else's back is pushed up against your back as they writhe back and forth isn't so hot), but my brain was having a hard time processing.

Might have to try and include some lame 90s (though to be fair, most of the songs our group knew where very late 90s to early 00s) in our wedding playlist.
And speaking of, I think we've decided on our 'walking down the aisle' (and I'm still not sure in what fashion we'll be doing that, yet), leaving the ceremony, and first or last dance music.
Yup, I'm making progress, y'all. This thing will be planned by April. Then it'll be down to all the DIY stuff we've foolhardily taken on.

heat addled...

Warning, whiny emo post coming up. {via}

I feel flat, demotivated...

I went to school this morning until 11 when I bailed. I'm sick of telling people that I still don't have a job, still hoping, 50 rejections to my 52 applications, yes, hopefully I'll hear from the school I volunteer at, yes, I'm keeping my phone close at hand, no, they haven't called.
But you'll be right, you'll be right.
And anyway, isn't there a teacher shortage?
Yes, unless you're a graduate.

There's a job I should apply for today but I can't bring myself to do it. I haven't had so much as a look-in, so a general sense of apathy has settled, and I've adopted a 'why should I bother?' mantra. Which is terrible, I know, but that's how I'm feeling.

And I feel worse, still, for digging myself into a kind of hole. I didn't apply for summer jobs when I finished Uni because I had relied on doing emergency relief teaching, which now, thanks to bureaucracy, won't happen... still, I booked a trip to visit Dad in January which, if I hadn't done, I might have been working the last couple of weeks, taken the trip to NZ in December, come home and worked somewhere all throughout January. As it stands,  I have such a mishmash of time before February (when school starts) that certainly nobody will hire me.

I went to lunch with my step-mother & step-grandma and ordered calamari & a pot of green tea. My part of the bill came to $28 and I just about cried in the damn cafe thinking I should have gone with the cheap salad instead.

And it's hot today, muggy. I came home, read a book, and went to sleep for an hour. I only got out of bed because I knew that if I kept napping, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

It's seriously getting to a point where I want to write this as my cover letter:
To whom it may concern,

I'll be short and sweet. I love kids. I love teaching kids and watching them learn. It lights up my life. I become friends with all the kids I teach and I help them do well. I want to be the very best teacher that I can be, so that the kids I teach grow into amazing people.
If this doesn't sound like the kind of teacher you want, that's ok. If you want someone passionate and absolutely committed to teaching and learning, give me a call, I'd love to hear from you.
Kind regards,

Emily.

Think that'd go down well?
Maybe I should do it, just to see what happens...? ha.

(might need a little refinement first, not sure it's getting my message across 100% yet (eg. I'm frustrated because I'm awesome and no one will give me a job and I really just want to hang out with a bunch of kids next year and do some really cool stuff so please give me a job sir, thanks)... but it'll get there)

Sorry for being such a downer, y'all!

730 days and counting...

On Saturday, we'll be meeting with the functions woman at the Zoo. Unfortunately between the time I emailed her, and the time she checked it, the 10th of November had been taken. BOOOOO. So, we're going with the 3rd of November because in Melbourne, we get a public holiday on the first Tuesday of November (for a horse race can you believe it???), so that will coincide nicely with any anniversaries while we're still in M-Town. (I just made that up. It's kind of lame).

Speaking of, it's Nic and my (not sure if that's grammatically correct) 2 year anniversary (of being together) today! Go us! We made it through moving straight in together without dating, putting up with my mother, worrying about whether we were both rebounds, having housemates move out on us with a week's notice, and having very little money while I've been studying... and of course all the good stuff... But it's been an action-packed 2 years. We've done a serious trip together (6 weeks in North America), added two furballs to our little family, moved house twice, gotten engaged, I finished my degree, changed jobs, quitted jobs...
So. Yay for us!

In other news...
I find out in 7.5 hours if I'm qualified to be a teacher or not.... eeeeeeek.
The good news is that a job has come up where I did my rounds/where I volunteer. Although there's a lot of stuff I'd like to change about the school and how they do things, they seem to be pretty switched on, flexible, and they don't teach from worksheets or text-books which is awesome. The teachers there are already talking like I've got the job. Unfortunately since it's a government (technically) position, I have to go through the whole thing with the application and everything so... I'm hoping my app doesn't stink so bad that although everybody else has rejected me, they won't reject me as well. If they do, I'll know I'm really doing something wrong!!

holy bananas....

YO

Long time no see y'all.
I'm writing this as a tentative 'I might be back a bit more' thing because, I might. I'm about to graduate from my Masters, but theoretically won't have a 'real job' till term 1 next year (school starts in Feb down under) so will have plenty of time to kill between now and then AND, since I won't have assignments due any more (cue cheers), I won't have to worry about writing them, and having them sap my energy.

SO

I suppose the best place to start is a bit of a recap of the last, oh, 3 and a half months.

my feet do my learning....

So.....

Hi.

Long time no see. I don't really know where to pick up so I'm going to put in some random snippets of things and see if that gets the ball rolling again. Truth is, what I think happened was that I started this blog (just wrote job, whoops) in October, when Uni was finished for the year. I had nice looooong summer holidays to write merrily, and when school started, assignments weren't due for a while and things were pretty easy so I kept writing. Then assignments were due. Like... Massively. I think I had about 6 to do in 2 weeks, which was about the time I really stopped writing here. Winter holidays are nearly over though so I can't promise I'll be writing a lot mor, BUT, in the middle of august, I'm on rounds for 5 weeks straight at one random school (not the one I'd been volunteering at) so I'm sure I'll have some interesting things to say then.
In the meantime though, since this blog was originally meant to be about wedding-y stuff, that all seems so far away that it really really has been put on the back burner. People say: so how's the wedding planning coming?! And it takes me a minute to figure out what they're talking about. But we're toying with ideas, of going overseas, or whatever, but we also don't know where we'll be living by then so even the date is sort of up in the air.
I said to Nic the other day that we need to stop worrying about where we live (as we'd been restricting future living places to our ideal places- Vancouver or BC, Tasmania, Washington state, etc) and worry about getting Nic a good job, in something he wants to do, and wants to progress with. I figure once we have that, we can move in the future, but there's no point moving anywhere just so as he can get another office admin job again that has no career progression. So! Now we're sort of going to be looking everywhere (English speaking anyway).

But anyway, that wasn't even the point of the post, though I realize I have missed writing out my thoughts and getting them straight here... All I really was wanting to say was: I was looking on a Canadian jibs site today just randomly, and stumbled on their 'resume tips for teachers' section. It suggested that in your resume you should include key words, such as 'creative lesson plans', 'curriculum development', 'ESL students' and 'brain-based learning'... I'm sorry, brain based learning??..... I wasn't aware there was another type of learning.
Seriously
How else do people learn if not with their brains, or not at all?

Anyway. Need to head to my little school- it's probably my last day, so I'm saying bye to all the kids :(:(:(:(:(:(
Sorry for any pos in this post, writing it on my iPad means unreliable touch-screen typing.

future living arrangements...

School day today!
And tomorrow!
And Thursday!
Nic is coming with me on Thursday to see if he wants to go back to school (again) and be a teacher. If nothing else he gets to meet the kids I keep talking about.
Today was a good day though, I actually kind of did some teaching. Oooo, aaahh. The kids were quite good, since they know me and like me- I think they were excited cos me teaching was a bit of a novelty, haha.

But in less related news, we got a letter in the mail today telling us that our 12 month lease was up in August (yep, it's only May) and could we let them know within the next 14 days if we want to go on another 6 month, 12 month, or month-to-month lease. I'm not sure how it works elsewhere but here, if you sign a lease agreement, you sign something saying you won't sub-let, and anyway if you do, and they ruin the house... well... that's trouble... or, if you go month-to-month, they can basically boot you out at any point with a month's notice... so, you have 0 stability, and the landlord has 0 stability, so that's not so hot...
Problem is, in 6 months from August, it's Feb. The school year in Aus starts in Feb. If we want to move to somewhere rural, we'll need to have done so before Feb. This is, as you can see, problematic.
However, if we don't move, OR if my School offers me a job... we'd want to be on a 12 month lease so they can't get rid of us till August next year. Is it assumptive to ask the Principal of the School if she'll be likely to have a job for me 9 months from now? Haha.
ASSUMING the landlord (who is lovely) doesn't want to move in here now. She's 20-something and lives with her parents while renting out this house to us. She works full-time. I can only imagine it'd be a matter of time before she actually wanted to live here.
So.... that's a little problematic.

Anyhoo. I'm sure i had more important things to write about but we all know how School fries my brain. And this week I have 3 days of it! Yay!

feeling tough...

You guys...

I got my ears pierced today.
Again.

I had them done when I was like, 8, or whatever. Like (almost) every little girl.
Then somewhere along the line (ie: probably about 4 years ago) I couldn't be bothered picking earrings to wear all the time... so I didn't.
Subsequently the holes closed up, and no amount of forceful prodding would get an earring in.
Then the other day, I can't remember exactly what spurred it on- possibly opening my jewelry box for the first time in a year (yep, I clearly accessorise all the time.) and seeing all my Mum's pretty dangly earrings she gave me- a thought began to grow in my head.
And that thought said: "Lady, you are not too much of a wimp to get this done. If you can do it at 8 (or whatever) you can do it at not-quite-25!"
So I researched a bit.
I read that cos I was getting them re-pierced, it'd be a smart idea to go to a 'professional' place.
I rang a tattoo/body-piercing joint near Uni and told them what I wanted.
"Uh... yeah... see... the thing is... we do body piercing. We don't have the stud gun. And like, if we put in a ring on both, it's like.. $70 each... so... you should just go to a chemist. Or something."
So, no 'professional' for me. I rang the local dodgy hairdresser/piercing place in the mall and they told me to come in.
I sat on the little bed chair thing.
"I'm nervous!" I joked. Mostly. Not really- I meant it. I was nervous.
The girl smiled, snapping on latex gloves and disinfecting my ears.
"I always get nervous too, when I pierce myself. You've got really tiny earlobes!!!"
....
Um.
She gets the gun thingie.
BAM!
And the other side.
BAM!
I wince, scrunch up my face.
She looks at me, concerned.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, yeah..." I try and shrug off the dwelling pain, and the feeling that my abnormally tiny earlobe had just puffed up to twice its size.

So now I have to keep the little silver star-shaped ones that I chose in for 6 weeks. I tried to pick ones that didn't remind me too much of being an 8 year old child again. They're very demure. I think. Now I'll just pray I don't get some kind of graphically horrible ear infection, maybe try and find some nice sleeper-hoops I can sleep in so that I don't have to have studs jutting into the side of my skull for the rest of my life (this may have been another reason I stopped bothering, come to think of it), and we'll be good to go.

Sorry if I made anyone squeamish. Should have maybe put a warning at the top, hey?

efficiency, or lack thereof.

{via}

Today was a cleaning day, mostly.
We often spend a saturday vacuuming, washing clothes, hanging clothes, dumping said clothes on the ground in the hallway when they're dry, putting on loads of dishes to be washed, picking up random things that have accumulated on the coffee table, gathering my various uni books from the lounge, the floor, the 'bag bucket' by the front door and trying to stack them coherently, somewhere. Picking up clothes from the bedroom floor and putting them back on the bed. Dumping them back on the floor when it's bed-time...

Not ours. Outs is worse. Imagine a blast-zone of a half a meter, where socks are the shrapnel, detonated by one pesky kitten. {via}

So I have a question for you, readers, lurkers, people-who-may-be-more-tidy-than-us.... I would like your input on ways to be more efficient with these things.
Nic and I acknowledge, we are not tidy people.
We have clothes on the floor.
Clothes get washed, no problems. They get hung out- we don't want them to go mouldy. They get taken off the line and brought in in a basket. The basket sits on the floor in the hall. The kitten explores the basket, steals socks, tips the basket over, spreads socks far and wide. We rummage through the basket every morning for clean clothes. The next weekend, the basket is still there. We do another load of washing. The washing needs to get hung out, but the basket is in use! We tip last-weeks washing on the bed. The newly washed clothes get hung up, brought in, and dumped on the bed, also. Then, the day goes by, and 10.30 hits. It's bed time!! We're too tired to do more chores!! But wait!! The bed is covered in clothes!!! The clothes get dumped on the floor at the foot of the bed, and remain there for another week, or until I get sick of them being there and getting covered in Mallei's fur that I put them away.
So, my question: Anybody have any tips or tricks to make this a better process? Please don't say: "Just put them away when you bring them in!" If it was that simple, we'd be doing that. But we don't. We need a solution that lets us be lazy, but have things done.
Example: We used to have a little sort of hall-table, by the front door. Where we're meant to put bags, and keys, and dog-leads, and it kind of doubled as a shoe-stand, but only, it was hard to put shoes in, and it was quite narrow, so shoes ended up on the floor, bags began to creep away from their intended areas and get further and further away, and it just became a mess. But we needed somewhere to dump this stuff when we came in the door or it would all go on couches, then the floor, and would look horrible.
So, we put a little bed-side table type thing from ikea by the door, and put a flexi-plastic bucket on it. Basically, bags get dumped in the bucket- and contained. You can't see them really, but they're there. There's a little tray for keys, one for change, one for exercise stuff, and one for dog stuff. Shoes go underneath the table on a little shelf it has. Perfect. Works for us. Mess contained.
It took us some thinking to come up with this solution that we knew would suit us, so I'm just wanting to know, this most simple of issues, how do you streamline your laundry process? (Is this not the most lame post, or what?)

{via}

We also tend to get piles of 'semi-dirty-but-not-dirty-enough-to-wash-only-worn-once' clothes by the bed as well, but that could just require a clothes horse. Or something.
Maybe another bucket!!?

just because we're on a big fat island...

Once again, we've been screwed over.
I was super excited to find a kindle app for my macbook. It was free, and meant I could buy & download books and read them from my computer. This is a good thing for those of us who don't want/can't afford an actual kindle or ipad, or, y'know, new books. My fear with buying books- novels, particularly - is that I won't like them. I can buy a used book from amazon for .99c, but shipping it here costs $12.50. For each book. So if I get a book that I don't like... or if I get 3 books I don't like... then I'm stuck with 3 books, and down $36 just on shipping. So, there's no amazon.com.au yet. There's an Australian site which professes to do 'cheap books', but they don't do 2nd hand books the way amazon does. There's also a UK site which does free international shipping, but then you're paying in pounds and it seems to work out the same as if I'd just bought it from the Australian one. Or Amazon.
So I saw an education book that I wanted, and then thought; well, if it's no good then I've just paid $25 (12.50 for the book, 2nd hand, $12.50 for shipping) for a book to be flown across the world and I don't like it.
But then I found this app!
And I said to Nic:
"Nic!!! I'm going to go on a spending rampage with this. I can buy like, a billion books. And then I can just read them all, on my computer! A RAMPAGE I TELLS YOU!"
And I started looking at lists. Top 100 lists of the books people have been buying. Free, pre-releases. Popular books. Books made into movies.
And for every one of those popular books, a little green message would appear in the right hand side of the screen:
"This title is not available for customers in
Australia"
WHY MAKE IT GREEN WHEN YOU'RE TELLING ME I CAN'T HAVE IT?!
Idiots.
Free books, like the "Metaphysical elements of ethics", or "The Complete English Tradesmen (1898 ed.)" I can download without issue.
So, that's wonderful.
I suppose, on the bright side, it means I won't be able to go on a spending rampage. As Nic so tactfully put it last night when I said:
"I'm going to spend all my money on books, love!!!!"
"What money?"
Well, that shut me up, didn't it now?


Innnnn other news, I was messing around yesterday with wordpress and decided that their layouts aren't changeable enough unless you use CSS which I fail at, so no, I will suffer blogger's annoying lack of reply button a while longer, but in the meantime I kind of made a header. At the moment it has a different blog name on it. The blog name I could change this blog's name too. Once again I'm struck by the fact that we are no longer 'looking to april' as our potential wedding-month, and so the old name doesn't really fit.
Here, tell me what you think, or if you have any better/bigger/more awesome ideas. Particularly name ideas.

Click on 'im to make 'im big, yo.
If you like it, I'll do an overhaul.
Maybe I will anyway. Just cos I like overhauls.
How about:
... wow, this one was going to sound really dirty... "Kittens who lick puppies" (teehee.)
Although I don't want my blog name to be all about the animals, even though they are awesome.
Help?


Mission for today: Making team shirts for Nic & I to enter fun-runs and adventure races in. Last night as we packed up to go to bed at 10, I told him we were Undergraduates from Lametown University, or LTU. Then I started thinking about those athletics department shirts from Universities. Then I started thinking about how I could make my own LTU shirt with some highly randomized slogan on the back (We had: "As furious as a honeybadger in heat" as we broke down in overtired giggles last night. Maybe we need something a little more 'us'). So.. That's today.
Oh. And some Uni work in there too.
Maybe.

hey there, Bright eyes...

So
In Australia, this was a super-long weekend as we had Anzac day, which meant from Friday-Tuesday, Nic was off work. Huzzah.
As I mentioned, I'd discovered the grants awarded to graduate teachers going to rural areas, and remembered these beautiful little towns up in the mountains, which we decided to go visit for the weekend.

Of course, it being a long weekend, in a town known for its beautiful autumn trees (remember, it's autumn/fall here, and we don't generally have trees that drop their leaves), the place was packed out. Still, we walked around Bright and quickly loved its little cafes, tree-covered hills in the background, quaint shops, and slightly-larger-than-hodunk-town feeling. On the last day, Nic stopped in at the police station to chat with them about the transfer process, if he does end up applying and going through training to be a cop. Apparently the Bright police station is the one that everyone wants to go to, and you could wait years to get posted there. Awesome. It seems strange, since they have to lure teachers there with money incentives, but police are lining up to be posted there. I suppose if you're a cop at a country town, you have a kind of quiet life amongst the mountains, booking people for speeding, not really dealing with much of the 'hard stuff'... where as a teacher, all our teaching courses tend to be metropolitan, we tend to do our rounds in the suburbs, and teaching bored country kids in tiny schools seems harder than maybe a middle-class anglo-saxon school in the 'burbs.
Anyhoo..

Wandilligong Primary School: 28 students.

The first day there we did a lot of driving. Lots of little towns with funny names (Wandilligong, Yakandandah, Tawong, Porepunkah, Stanley). Towns we judged based on the number of pubs they had, or whether they had a large or small supermarket, or none at all. We formulated criteria for prospective future towns we'd like to live in- cafes, mountains, a supermarket, and within a certain distance of the nearest cinema in Wangaratta. We drove away from the mountains to the flat plains just north of the apline area, and although those mountains loomed in the distance (as well as Australian mountains can. Having seen the Pacific Coast range, I refuse to believe anything in Australia can loom quite as well as them), we decided that it was too flat: we wanted to be in amongst it.

i'm a mountain man...

 

Sorry about the silence this last week, but we're back from our trip to Alpine Victoria! Updates and photos to come, once I've made them pretty. 

The photo above was taken looking up at Mt Feathertop- Victoria's 2nd tallest mountain, at dawn.

Hoping you all had a wonderful long weekend!

Napland.

Naps are best taken with kittens.

I'm tired.
At some time this afternoon, I went and lay on the futon couch in the office with my big blanket of kitten luxury, and fell asleep in about 5 minutes. I say "at some time" because I can't remember when. It was after 2, but before 3.
I woke up, suddenly.
It was like those moments in movies that never actually happen in real life, until they do. Where the main character wakes with a start for some reason and goes: "Where am I!? What day is it!?"
That was me.
It was the phone- Nic was calling.
"Uh... hi..!" I tried to shake the sleep out of my voice.
"Hey... where are you?"
"On the futon..."
"Oh no! Did I wake you up?"
"Um... I think so..."
Seriously.
I couldn't remember first of all where I was, why I was sleeping, or what day it was, and then I couldn't remember if I'd been sleeping at all. The conversation went on. Nic asked what I'd done all day. I looked back in my memory and this is what I saw:
Waking up at 5.30am. Not getting back to sleep. Haze. 5km run (at about midday). Haze. Played a kid's math game for about 30 minutes. Went to futon. It was now 4pm.
"Um... Nothing. I ran."
Seriously. I've been up since 5.30 this morning, and this is what I had to show for my day.
This happens often, people. Days where an hour or two is spent writing an assignment, and an hour is spent doing exercise is reduced into these tiny nuggets, and everything else is like gaps. How can 10 hours pass from Nic going to work to Nic coming home, and I manage to read a chapter in a book, and go for a run?
I find I'm waking up with increasing frequency at 4.30am. Usually the kitten has made a noise somewhere, I guess. I'm that light of a sleeper. Then I realize I'm burning up and I'm covered in sweat (lovely imagery here, you guys) and if I stick my arms, then my legs, then most of my whole self outside of the covers, I freeze in the autumn chill. So I get stuck somewhere between my shoulders and arms being frozen, and everything below that burning up. Ask my forehead though and I'm tepid. That's the scientific test, right? Forehead reveals all. Eventually I manage to fall back asleep. Wake up time proper is 6.30.

And I realize I've just sat here for about 10 minutes staring into space for no reason. I think there's something wrong with me. Maybe I need to go back to the futon.
Any of you out there lose time? I'm sure it's not that uncommon.

bird song...

A flock of Currawongs (birds!) have moved into our neighbouthood recently and it's made me exceptionally happy because the noise of these birds is synonymous with some of my fondest memories.
They're birds usually found up in the mountain areas and so, when we went hiking with Dad as kids, we'd wake to the sounds of these birds through the trees. At highschool, I was able to go on a horse-riding camp 5 years in a row, and you'd wake up in a chilly tent, the ground outside covered in dew, a low fog hanging over everything, a herd of horses snuffling nearby, and currawongs and bellbirds calling from the hills nearby.
They make me feel like I'm a little further removed from suburbia. Like I could step out my front door and see hills and trees instead of typically Australian brick-veneer houses.

I originally thought they were butcherbirds, but after a massive search, I've been proved otherwise!
Here's what I'm hearing (I didn't make this movie- I WISH our house looked out onto this forest):


This is a bellbird, also reminding me of crisp mountain mornings, or waking up in a tent somewhere beautiful.


 
Nic is 'dating' me tonight- I'm currently banned from the kitchen while he prepares something tasty for dinner. 

the shape of life, in general.

So, in short, this is how things are:

• Yesterday I ran 5km for the first time in a month. I'd changed my running gate from heel-strike to forefoot strike after doing a bit of reading and deciding that going that route would be better. It has been better because somehow it's made running less effort and chore- less difficult. That being said, I've had to build up slowly - starting by doing 1.5km, then 2km, then 3, then 3.7, then 4, 4.3, and yesterday 5km. Because forefoot strike actually requires you to move using your calf muscles, achillies, etc, rather than relying on your skeleton to absorb the shock, I've had to build up strength in muscles I (didn't realise that I) never used much before.
• As a byproduct of this, and everything else, I more or less constantly have sore muscles somewhere. I think in the last month I've had one 'rest-day', where I probably still took Mal for a walk. It's good on one hand cos I feel super buff, but on the other- I'm sore, somewhere, all the time. 
• That being said, I've managed to lose 1kg (2.2 pounds) in maybe... 2 months? Which is pitiful. I haven't written much about the weight-loss thing here. There's been a few people whose blogs I read frequently who put the weight-loss thing more eloquently than I thought I could. Let's just say that in November 2009 I was at 56kg - a weight I'd been dieting and exercising to get to. My 'ideal' weight.... November 2010, Nic and I ate our weight in bagels and donuts in the US, and I came home at 65kg, having left at about 60kg. I'd really like to get there again, and ideally back to 56. But, my god, if it's taking me a kg every 2 months, it's going to take a year and a half. Ouch. I feel like I look better than I did, but then I wonder if I'm making things up just to boost my self-esteem.
• I also want to keep running. Like, every day. But my Achilles/ankle/calf is saying: NOOOO. And I must obey. I've been forgetting lately that I'm not indestructible, like, if I injure myself, I could actually injure myself, in a big way. I just have to keep that in mind.
• Next week, I have 2 assignments due. I'm fairly confident that one is mostly finished, and the other shouldn't require me to do too much more. 
• I think it's time to pull out my tomato plants. -sadface-
• Mallei came on the run yesterday with me, and today he's laying down like an old man with sore bones. Maybe he's suffering as much as me?
• The kitten refuses to believe in letting anyone sleep in. Not only did she "MEE" outside the door and throw herself at it this morning, when Nic let her in, she decided it was time to play, and pounce the door-hinges (way up high) on the inside. 
• I've been feeling a bit distant/disconnected lately. It's a growing feeling. I don't know whether I can put it down to hormones (uh, yeah, actually, I probably can), or being at home all day, and/or feeling guilty when I don't do a thousand chores at home, and then feeling obliged to make dinner because Nic's been at work all day and it's not fair if I don't cook. And it's stupid to feel like this because I know he doesn't expect it, and that he'd be happy to cook, but I feel like... if I've been home all day, working on assignments, reading Uni crap, going for runs, reading blogs, only getting out of my PJs to go for said run... then who am I to ask Nic, when he gets home from work, having put up with annoying colleagues, answered a hundred emails (this is his job at the moment, btw), having battled traffic to get home, having probably gone to the gym on the way home... who am I then to ask him if he could please cook because I'm too tired? I think part of the disconnectedness as well is coming from this routine we've fallen into lately, more than normal. The come home-dinner-tv-shows-bed, rinse and repeat routine. Like we need to... have a nice dinner, without the tv, or go out and get Asian food, or cook some popcorn and watch a movie inside if we're feeling too poor to actually pay $17 each for a movie ticket (or maybe $14, if we go on a Tuesday).
• That being said, had it not been for a bit of a shop I did the other night (new PJs since my old ones were literally falling to tatters, a couple of shirts for this weird autumn weather that isn't really hot, or cold), I'd be rocking the budget this fortnight. Alas, shopping gets the better of me.
• Nic's Dad has flown in from Hong Kong. A few months ago he was asking when would be the best time for him to come, and we said: "Not this week (now), and not the Easter week. Any other time is fine". So.... he landed today. Subsequently he isn't staying on my futon on account of those two assignments I mentioned earlier, and the spare/futon room doubling as my study office/assignment writing lair. So I suppose we'll see him at some point for dinner. 
• The other day I started kind of planning our honeymoon. Is it a little sad that I think I'm more excited about the honeymoon (Europe, baby!) than I am about the wedding itself? Is this bad? "Planning" insofar as I plotted a potential route through some places we were interested in, then guestimated how many nights we might like to spend in each of those places, then tallied the total to see what we were looking at. Might have to read my Europe book again... which I think a friend still has! Must get that back.
• I've been looking (sort of) at dresses for the wedding again. I'm not going to say 'wedding dresses' because I'm strongly getting the sense that I won't be in a 'wedding dress', but maybe a bridesmaids dress, or one of these convertible ones (maybe even in the ocean colour.) or something from a designer that isn't touted as a 'wedding dress'. I kind of really like the convertible one... I could wear it again! Like, really. In a different style. Buahaha. 

And that is all. Also, it's friday! Happy friday.

this hermit life is tiring me out.

You know... I'm tired.

I realize that he looks huge, and kind of fat, with a small head, but it's cos he's all fluffed out and the photo was taken from an unflattering angle (what the hell am I talking about, he's a dog.).

Sort of.
Not like a physical tiredness because I didn't get enough sleep- because I did, Nic let me sleep in till 7.30, bless him.

This is a hard thing to explain- I'm having trouble with it. It's back to something I wrote a while ago, about how I don't feel like I have friends. It doesn't sound any less lame now than it did then, but anyhoo...
But here's the thing: that picture of a group of girls laughing and drinking wine on a couch, all hanging out? Doesn't happen. I tried to organize a catch-up with two friends from Uni for last week, before dinner... one girl was tired from her first week of teaching, the other was 'sniffly'. So that's fine, I said, we'll reschedule, maybe next (this) week?
And I can bet you anything I won't hear from them.
Ok, so I'm not the best keeping-in-touch person, I'm not, but I'll try. Even if it's a long time apart, I'll try. And I can think of a dozen occurrences where I was the last one to make the effort- to set a date, to organize a thing, to send an email, whatever... and that gets tiring. I feel like I know people, I'm 'friends' with people, but I'm/we're not high enough on people's priority lists that they'd like to spend time with just us. You know, like, take time out of their schedule to do something different. If they have a party, we'll be invited, but I wouldn't expect to hear from them for a catch-up, or whatever.
And I promise I'm not this self-depreciating in real life, and I'm usually quite content in my little bubble with me and Nic and our pets and that suits us fine, it does.. But sometimes it'd be nice to have someone else. Nic is completely my best friend... I have a really hard time trusting people, for some reason. Example: the friend from Uni, who was sniffly and didn't want to come out... we get along great. Sometimes we have lunch together on wednesdays because we have a 2 hour break between classes. We have different ideas about teaching and we share those. When we're together, we're almost that picture of two girlfriends chatting and laughing. I love spending time with her...
But I, in myself, can never shake the feeling that... I dunno, that I'm not high on her priority list. I'm just the girl from Uni. That she has better, and closer friends that she'd rather spend time with. And maybe she does, I'm not sure. I don't hear her mention people, except her boyfriend, but then do your friends from outside circles usually come up in conversation? I'm not sure.
Do you know what I mean though? Like I hold myself back from being 'too much' her friend, because I don't feel like I'm that close for her.
Anyway, I'm just a bit sad about this. I wish there'd been an APW bookclub here, but nobody replied to my Facebook thing so I guess there ain't anybody from Melbourne around.

In other news, I don't think we're going to Canberra or the Blue Mountains over easter any more because it's just going to cost too much money, and we seem to keep spending money - a bike, a car insurance excess, a futon, some random crap from an outdoor shop (ok, so everything was about 60% off and we'll use it all, it's still money) - that we don't really have, so the prospect of crappy motel-style accommodation for $100 a night in Canberra (sadly, the cheapest we could find that's not booked out), plus like, $200+ worth of fuel, plus another lot on food while we're there = a lot of money that we don't have. Canberra isn't going anywhere, the blue Mountains aren't going anywhere... I think it's probably wise if we just go somewhere a little closer to home, hike overnight, camp...

Tonight we're having the most amazing Tofu stir-fry for dinner. I'm thinking of making maybe a "Tasty Tuesday" thing. Cos y'know what? We do some awesome food. The other night we made chickpea burgers. Maybe people would like to partake in our food. Maybe I'd just like to document stuff incase we forget and go: What was in that amazing stir-fry!?! Then we'll know.
So, I didn't like tofu. This meal converted me. If you don't like tofu but you do like tasty stir-fry and noodles, tune in later, I'll put up the recipe and some pictures and stuff. It's sort of pad-thai style, with lime and sauce.
And stuff.
Just trust me on this one, ok?

skip counting.

I decided to skip class this morning.
As Nic so helpfully points out: I'm a Uni student, that's what I'm supposed to do when I don't really want to go.
8am is way too early for maths, anyway, particularly when the teacher reads off powerpoint slides. Occasionally she asks us a maths problem, or shows us an activity we can do in our classroom, but if you get the answer wrong, she's terribly condescending and if you get the answer right before she's 'ready' for you to get it right (ie: be the first person answering a riddle/puzzle/whatever and get it right? She'll accuse you of having read the powerpoint already, or having seen the problem before. Or something stupid. And I mean accuse, as well).
So, I figure, I can read the powerpoints from home, and the other articles she prescribes, and not worry about never answering questions anyway because I don't want her to think I'm stupid (like when she asked if anyone uses their fingers to count, and I said I do, and she asked when, and I said pretty much for anything, even simple addition (which is true. Something like 8 + 7? That'd be on my fingers. Yup. The more I read, the more I think I wasn't taught maths very well. People who look at that and just know what the answer is? Yeah, can't do that. Kids who would look at that and go, I dunno, 7 + 7 + 1? I don't do that. Sucks.), and she looked at me like I was a complete moron)...
Ironically, I'm staying home (with kitten on my lap and dog next to me on the couch) researching progressive education/alternative education schools in Australia, and BC, Canada. Then I'll finish my assignment, then I'll probably start a different one.
So it's not like I've slept in- I still dragged myself out of bed, not having decided at that point that I wasn't going... No, I'm still actually going to be productive. That makes things better, right?

sneezing all over our love...

Ok, sorry for the lame title. I was trying to think of something appropriate, like a song lyric, but it didn't happen.

I've been really snuffly and sneezy lately, and I can't really blame it on the weather because it's autumn (no seeds, no flowers, just one big shaggy shedding dog getting his fur ready for winter), and I can't blame the kids for giving me a cold because I'm doing these cartoon-style astronomical sneezes... I figure I shouldn't do things in halves, here. If I'm going to sneeze, might as well make it a good one, get it over and done with quickly, y'know? I'm not one of those people who makes a little noise and squeezes their eyes closed.

Are you the cause of all my problems, Mia Miss Meow!?

Anyway, I'm thinking of what on earth could be making it so bad... and I look down at my little purring lap-warmer, who looks back up at me, and winks. I mean, she often winks, this isn't unusual (though it is weird)... but I thought: Oh lord, what if she's losing her kitten fur, and getting adult fur, and I'm allergic to her?
Because I am allergic to cats, and dogs, and horses.
My Mum, growing us up on a hobby farm, decided that the best way to deal with her two asthmatic children with allergies was just to have cats, and dogs, and horses, and figure we'd get over it. And I did, to a degree. I fell asleep on the futon with the fur of Mallei's ears up my nose (we were cuddling). I kiss the kitten all over because she's soft and smells interesting (unless Mallei has been licking her. Mmmhm, slobberfur). I don't have problems with my own animals. Other people's animals? Yeah, usually. Especially if they're not clean, or if they're really furry. But not mine.
But maybe I'm allergic to our kitten!!!
And she's dropping her kitten fur to grow real-cat fur, and she's making me sneeze!!

Also, unrelated... I'm having weird thoughts lately, and I'm going to blame being around some adorable kids at the School. Like, kids with big sad eyes who tell me twice about how their chickens got eaten by foxes, and who get called "Hugamachine", and who have shy little grins, and who make winches out of cardboard rolls for their emergency-service truck, and who can read the Australian vet website at 6 years old, and who still believe in the tooth-fairy... And I think that, for the first time in my life, I'm feeling a little clucky. And it's terrifying. I don't want kids. I don't get babies. I don't understand the whole going 'ga-ga' (ha, ha. Funny stuff) over babies. They look weird and they slobber. I think this is very bad, people. We don't want kids. We want animals, and we want to travel, and we want to have money to blow on said travel, and yes, maybe you can do that with a kid, or two, or whatever, but this isn't the dream we have. So me, thinking: Well, maybe young kids are fun, and wouldn't it be nice to read to a kid at night? Is terrifying. Absolutely. Terrifying.

I'm gonna cuddle my kitten now and hope it goes away.

I love this. Mallei looks so guilty, like he's just been caught in the act. Classic!

excuse me, how about do your job?

I went to get petrol on the way to School this morning. At the moment it's sitting a tad under $1.50 a litre, lucky us ($5.70 a gallon). I filled up the tank, then went inside to pay (that's how we roll, here. No pre-paying or weirdness for us). The lady on the register was chatting with her co-worker, as I'm standing there. I'm impatient. I wait. There's nobody else in the store, just me.
I wait.
I'm fairly certain I waited about 30 seconds and it wasn't like they were talking about important things like how to put out a fire in the back room, or what to do if there was a crocodile in the store, or how to deal with a wasp nest on the fuel pumps.
Eventually she comes back to her position, no "Sorry" or even a hello, or a smile, which I'm fairly sure is part of her job.
She growls:
"$56."
I put the discount card out for her (supermarket scheme, non-Australian people. We get 4c off our petrol if you shop at one of the two big supermarkets then go to the appropriate petrol station.), which she scans.
"$55." She mutters. I'm a little peeved at this point because I was running late and she hadn't acknowledged my presence. I hold out my card, and she basically rolls her eyes and, turning as she speaks, vaguely says:
"Swipe your card"
And is back to talking to her coworker.
So I wait for the machine to say 'swipe'... and it doesn't.
I wait a bit more- sometimes they're slow.
And now I'm annoyed because not only is she one of the worst petrol sales-people I've seen, but she hasn't been bothered to do her job well enough to hit the 'enter' button on her screen to activate the card machine.
So, I say:
"Um, I would swipe it, if it worked." And yeah, I sound like a bitch when I'm saying this (Ok, picture a bratty 16 year old, rolling her eyes and jutting out her chin... now scale back the image a liiiiittle bit, and that was probably the tone of voice I used.
The lady looked stunned. Like, why was I suddenly being rude to her!? When she'd been nothing but polite, and helpful!! She literally looked at me like I'd just called her a f---tard, for no reason.
"Sorry doll!" She says, mashing the screen. "Sometimes it just goes to sleep."
I think I rolled my eyes, mutter "no worries.".
"Sorry about that."
And I'm thinking: No, you're really not. You're only sorry because I snapped at you and you suddenly came round to the fact that I'm actually here, trying to get some damn service, and I interrupted your chat. 

And then she told me to have a fantastic day.
Laced with sarcasm.
You know sometimes when someone's been rude to you and you're super extra nice just to 'be the better person', or make them more angry, or just rub it in that you're nice and they're a bitch? Yeah, she tried to pull that on me. And I am not a bitch, people. I am not confrontational. I hate confrontations. HATE. So for me to actually say what I said speaks volumes for how freaking peeved off I was.
But then I went to school, and the girls gave me hugs, and I got to go gardening with some of them, and then the grade 5/6 kids went horse-riding. But I didn't get to ride. But it's ok... it just made me miss horses and riding like crazy.

Now I'm off to the gym. I'm going to try and change my running style. Or, start to change. Fairly certain it won't happen overnight.

liken me to einstein.

I am a genius.
No doubt about it.

 Dr. Mallei in one of his less flattering moments. And this isn't a Dr. Mallei column.

Please read the above with sarcasm.
You know sometimes you do or say something so dumb that you wonder how you've gotten as far in life as you have?
And ok, my story could be worse, but I was pretty bummed out by the whole thing.
So today, I had class from 1-3pm. I planned it out- I was going to cycle in, and cycle home. I researched where the showers on campus are, I packed my bag. I postponed eating lunch because I was leaving at like, 11.50 and so had HEAPS of time to make the 30-40 minute ride in, shower, and eat.
As I was having a quick shower in the morning, I chuckled to myself as I played an imaginary scenario in my head: Imagine if I rode all the way to Uni, only to realise I'd left my bike lock at home! Dun dun dunnnn... and then, what would I do? Maybe I'd ask some random at the bike lock area if I could lock my bike to theirs and they could tell me the code because they already have one bike- why would they need to steal mine?
Or maybe, I thought, I'd just turn around and go home. Depends how far I'd come.
So as I said, my bag was packed- my helmet had already been attached to it, gloves and sunnies were inside the bag, all set to go.
I pushed off.
No major mishaps on the way in, feeling pretty spiffy in some new running shorts I'd bought, went a little faster on the gravel section of the bike trail than I usually do... Got to about, I dunno, 700 meters to a km away from Uni, and started prepping my mind for the task ahead- pull in, lock up bike, sho---.... wait...

...
I left my lock at home.
I'd friggen thought about it not an hour before I'd left and how utterly stupid you'd have to be to forget it...
And here I was, having just sailed down a hill (which I ended up cycling back up, thanks), suddenly realising that I was all of 5 minutes away from Uni, without a lock. With no way of securing my nice, shiny new bike, at a University full of poor students from the Eastern suburbs. I thought about going to Property & services, and seeing if I could get a temporary swipe card to their bike cage thingie, but decided that they'd be mean and wouldn't give me one, and anyway, once it was in the bike cage, anyone could steal it from there anyway!! So, at the 8.something kilometer mark, I turned around, peddled back up the damn hill, and went home.

Which, of course, took me 40 minutes (and gave me a new RunKeeper record, schweet), but meant that I was about 40 minutes late to class.
Which would have been ok, (maybe?) because I thought it was a 3 hour class- it's an Arts class, it has to be 3 hours long right?
No dice.
So I get to the class 40 minutes late, and an hour and 10 later, we're packing up and going home.
Now I have a very depressive dog who is desperate to go for a walk. He keeps poking his head, very slowly, and very sadly, around the corner of the door.
I'm like, the worst dog parent ever.
Also I think my kitten's back legs are too long for the rest of her/longer than her front legs.
It's weird.
Now she's rolling in the sun. LUXURIOUSLY.
Oh well, no matter how much of an un-genius I feel, she can always make me feel better by becoming completely enraptured (nice word, hey?) with a spot on the wall, absolutely convinced that it's alive.
(and now, incase you're enjoying the running commentary, she's pulling herself along the carpet with her front feet, while laying on her side. Like she's laid down, and it's just way too much effort to get her kitteny body up on all 4 feet again.)

centenial post...!

You guys, this is my 100th post!

I was standing in the shower racking my brains over something cool to do. Do I start some kind of feature? No ideas there. Then I remembered I'd forgotten about Favourite-Things-Monday (which, by the way, I think needs a better title) so I might do that after I do this.
Then I began thinking of the fact that later I have to do some study for Uni (in the first week?! Yes, I am that much of an awesome student. A colleague from Uni already feels deep, deep shame because I've read an article and she has not.) and my heart sank.
I thought aboot going in to the so-called 'Office' (or, more fondly: the pile-of-shit room) and it depressed me.
Deeply.
And I thought: Well hell, how am I going to do study when I can't bring myself to a) clean the room of my own accord, or b) go in there. I certainly can't do an entire year's worth of work with the laptop on my lap (especially with macs and their sharp edges which after a while make your wrists look like that of an emo teenager. Anyone with a mac knows what I'm talking about.)
And then I thought; I need to clean that damned room!
And then....! I thought, what better motivation than a before-and-after picture. And what if I do it properly, like, not just clean up, but actually make that space part of our house. Like, put a plant in there (I love having plants. My house would be a jungle, given half the chance. No kidding. Nic has to drag me away from the indoor fern section at Bunnings (uh, I guess same as Home Depot...? Maybe?) and Ikea every time we go), and photos, and not just cram the bookshelf full of the random nick-nacks that I don't really like, but put some of the things I do like in there as well.
So, I present to you....
The before shot.