too old for this...

On Friday night, some girls from Uni invited me to 'go dancing' with them at a club that plays 90s music. Nic was going to be away for the night so I thought I should actually be social and go.
So I did.
Oh Lord.
It's been a long time since I was in a place like this. Say maybe... five or six years. Well, look, not much as changed as far as I can tell, though it was... odd.
So, get this: girls dressed up in short dresses and huge heals. I saw one stick-thin girl cross the street in these massive heels and teeeeeeny tiny shorts, and I thought: why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we have to bear all, torture our feet, plaster our faces with chemicals, when the guy next to her was in jeans and a t-shirt?  I thought about this the other day when we were at the beach. It suddenly struck me: picture a middle-aged man, overweight, beer gut, at the beach. He'd be in shorts, right? Stomach hanging everywhere, hairy chest, arms, legs, back, pink as a lobster. And our reaction? Well, we wouldn't have one, would we? Because that's fine, and normal. Now! Picture a woman- middle-aged, overweight, in a bikini, pink as a lobster. For most of us, I'd imagine the reaction would be quite different. And if not for us, then probably for people on the beach. I know my mother would have a depreciating thing or two to say. That's not fair, right? What's up with the double standards?

Anyway. Back to the club. We're all dressed up and packed in to this dance floor. Most of the people there looked to be between 19 and 27, I guess, except for one older gentleman who went wild for 'Walking on Sunshine', arms flailing wildly in the air, expression of glee plastered on his face. The music being played at this club seemed to give otherwise sane and reasonable people an excuse to regress to highschool and sing 'Barbie Girl', 'Blue' (by Eiffel ...65?) and various SpiceGirls songs at the top of their lungs, hips jerking and occasionally trying to sexy-dance.
I'm sorry.
You cannot sexy dance to Wannabe.
And I think that was what confused me the most, was that a song came on, and I wanted to yell "LAME!!!" but that was the point, right? Don't get me wrong, it was fun (but too crowded. Dancing when someone else's back is pushed up against your back as they writhe back and forth isn't so hot), but my brain was having a hard time processing.

Might have to try and include some lame 90s (though to be fair, most of the songs our group knew where very late 90s to early 00s) in our wedding playlist.
And speaking of, I think we've decided on our 'walking down the aisle' (and I'm still not sure in what fashion we'll be doing that, yet), leaving the ceremony, and first or last dance music.
Yup, I'm making progress, y'all. This thing will be planned by April. Then it'll be down to all the DIY stuff we've foolhardily taken on.

a wedding in apricot...

I am aware that there's a lot of 'competition' amongst women. Recently, I have noticed it specifically regarding wedding stuff. The judgments passed among women about weddings they've seen or been to. How this was tacky, or that was cheap. How her dress didn't have enough beads, or how they should have had flowers in the church. To this end, I am very aware that when writing about the wedding Nic and I went to last night, that these are not judgments based on the 'worth' of the wedding, but based on my own personal tastes.

Because here's the thing; the bride and groom were glowingly happy. In their speeches they thanked everyone for making this such a special day. How everything was perfect and beautiful. And that's the important thing. And I am sick of people competing and judging and saying what should and shouldn't happen. And I know that, compared to the wedding we attended yesterday, ours is going to blow people's minds.

"bridentity"...

This is just a quick one, because I think it's funny.
So the wedding isn't until November 2012. That's about 21 months away. That's far enough away that I haven't really thought seriously about STDs (*snicker*), don't want to buy a dress because 21 months means a lot of potential body changes (particularly with gym memberships), don't even want to book a venue because who knows what can happen even in the next 9 months, let alone 21... So, much like life, in a way, I'm in 'wedding limbo', where I don't feel like I can go anything much until we're 18 months, or 12 months out.

So, that being said, I find it really amusing that since becoming engaged and starting back at work after the trip, most people at work seem to have forgotten everything about me, save one thing.
"So, how's the wedding planning coming?".

At first it was exciting, and kind of cute.
I'd blush a bit maybe, smile, and shrug, tell them my general vision, that I've tried on some dresses, where we're thinking of having it, etc.
But now it's like, every 2nd day.
"How's the wedding planning coming?"

Can we get this wedding over with and get to the drinking?*

Well, it's not.
Because I can't do anything, because, as you know, person, it's not until the end of 2012.
And I know I could direct them politely toward something else, but until I'm back at Uni, not too much else interesting is happening. But I have my little family, and we go on our little adventures.
But that's not as interesting as planning a wedding, I guess.

I just find it really interesting that even though is so far out, I am suddenly defined as the bride who is busy planning. Which, I am, but not solidly, I can't.
It's just a very interesting phenomenon, because nobody asks Nic how the wedding planning is coming. At best they might ask him when the wedding is, but not what's being planned. I suppose it could be that I work with young people, who go out and party every weekend. So maybe I'm a novelty. Who knows.

Puzzling!!

(I love him)

(OMG I just found all the photos from Nic's iphone that he took on the North Am. trip. I didn't know/remember about half of them!!)
*Not really. See above linked blog post about people who party too much.

omg he's wearing sneakers to a wedding....!

I snapped at a girl at work today.
A girl who is completely infatuated with a man she's known for 6 months, where she's decided the date they'll be getting engaged, that they'll be having a 100k wedding (yes, $100,000), she's picked out the ring she wants, etc... It's all very fast, and she's not yet 21. Eek. Anyway, this isn't the point, because that's fine- you have the right to do what you want, and what makes you happy, and good on you... which is the point.

She was looking at, I assume, wedding blogs today. Or pictures of weddings. Or something. And I hear from across the room:
"Oh, they're a really gorgeous couple. Don't you think? Look, he's so handsome... and she's pretty too. Don't they make a really pretty couple...?" Silence for a minute then a shrill shriek; "Oh, she's SO ugly!!! And she's not wearing makeup!! Why wouldn't you wear makeup to your wedding!? Don't you think she's ugly?!!?" (this to another coworker, who responds: "Um... I think she looks fine...") "Well, I don't understand why you wouldn't wear makeup to your wedding. Yuck." And I'm thinking: I don't see the problem with it...
Then there's silence for a while longer.... and I hear another shriek.
"OH MY GOD.... he's wearing SNEAKERS to his WEDDING. What an IDIOT!!! Why would you do that?? You can't do that!! You can't wear SNEAKERS.... to a WEDDING!!! That's just so stupid!!"
At which point, I had to chime in.
I said: "He can wear whatever he wants to his wedding. It's his wedding. That's the point. If he wants to wear sneakers he can wear sneakers if it makes him happy. You don't HAVE to do anything at a wedding. There's no rules, you have to do what YOU want or it's not your wedding. Nic wants to wear converse to our wedding, and that's awesome."
Dead.
Silence.
I laugh.
"I take it from the silence that you're unimpressed."
She says; "... SERIOUSLY... You're going to let him wear converse?!?!?!"
"Sure. If he wants to, why the hell not?"

And it just made me cringe. The blatant judgements, the shunning of these women on their beautiful wedding day for something she doesn't deem appropriate. No wonder the Wedding Industrial Complex is what it is, and there's such criticism of women by women. We're always judging. It's impossible to turn off, I think, but jeez it peeved me off. Just because your wedding will cost $100k doesn't mean ours has to. Just because you want heels doesn't mean I do. And you know what? My wedding, my MARRIAGE isn't going to be any less kick-assingly-awesome because of it!! In fact, I'll probably have a more awesome time because of it. Feet not killing me from wearing heels? Check. Budgets in-tack after wedding? Check. Happy FH who got to wear wicked shoes? Check. I think I'll take that, and you can keep your criticisms to yourself, if that's quite alright.

(And by the way, I have nothing against people wearing heels, or not wearing chucks, or whatever... but I hate the idea that things are going to be worse because of, or despite those things..It's so insignificant, surely.)
(Also whenever I write WIC I think "Walk in closet")

Putting some awesome pictures below the cut just to prove my point.